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Original poster

Kissed my boss at xmas party

44 replies

Whattodonow12345 · 17/12/2017 14:29

Have worked with the company for a long time and have always gotten on well with him but recently attended the office christmas party where we both got drunk (not so drunk that we didnt know what was happening) and flirted with each other. He kept touching me, then we kissed -not sure if my colleagues saw or not.
I've always sensed that he likes me by the way he watches me in the office and always keeps eye contact and talks to me differently. We

He is much older than me and is a ltr. I am married with kids.

I dont know whether to msg him before i go back to work and apologise or just to go in to work and pretend nothing happened.
Should i hand my notice -although don't really want to do this as its a great place to work.
What would you do??

Thanks in advance xx

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 17/12/2017 15:25

Pretend nothing has happened. Not much did anyway. And if he mentions it still pretend nothing has happened. Chances are he won't. Don't leave. Why should you.

PinkHeart5914 · 17/12/2017 15:29

Um your dh would see it as cheating becuase kissing someone else when in a realtionship is um cheating! The whole I was drunk bullshit isn’t really an excuse for kissing someone else

I highly doubt nobody saw this happen and I do wonder if now the two of you have kissed that will truly be the end of it? I would imagine this is the start of many cheap, meaningless affairs

Carry on at work in a professional manner and no more kissing other people if you love your dh

rookiemere · 17/12/2017 15:36

Crikey some people are dramatic.
It was a kiss. You were drunk. It's not great, but it's not the end of the world. I'd not tell your DH.
I'd ignore it with your boss. If he brings it up say that you were both very drunk. If he brings it up again tell him that not only were you very drunk, but you love your DH very much and want to stay married. Then and only then if he brings it up again would it be time to start looking for a new job - or a harassment claim.

MaisyPops · 17/12/2017 15:37

ThomasRichard
It doesn't have to go one way. They could agree it was a one off and draw a line.
People can make mistakes and not do it again.

rookiemere · 17/12/2017 15:39

Oh I'd probably not go to next years party, or make sure you're driving or have some other reason to abstain from alcohol.

LadyKyliePonsonbyFarquhar · 17/12/2017 15:42

If there's little chance of your DH finding out, I wouldn't confess, he doesn't need to know.
As for work, just pretend it never happened and don't get into situations like that again.

Nelly5678 · 17/12/2017 15:45

Have you told your husband?

onemorecakeplease · 17/12/2017 15:52

I went on a night out ten years ago.
I was drunk before I even arrived and unfortunately ended up kissing some random guy I’d known at school.

I was mortified - never told dh as I couldn’t even remember doing it and had no intentions of repeating it. I only found out when a colleague called me the next day asking was I okay.

However I never had to see him again - it doesn’t sound like your situation. I think you need to find another job if you find him attractive and might do it again.

And if it isn’t going to be a one off you need to tell your dh

WeAllHaveWings · 17/12/2017 15:54

My marriage is in a really good place at the moment

Either you are in denial about that or you open to a bit of extra marital excitement regardless of the affect on your marriage.

What your boss thinks, workmates saw, or if you have to leave your job should be at the bottom of your priorities. You have cheated on your husband. You need to work out how to resolve that first, especially as its probably common knowledge in the office and if anyone thinks you are getting preferential treatment in there (he talks to your different) someone might just be vindictive enough to tell tales to your dh. Personally I couldn't live with both the guilt and worrying about him hearing from someone else.

Bloody work Christmas parties.

I've managed to get through 26 years of office parties, while with dh, without snogging someone's face off. Its pretty simple if you aren't a cheat.

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary · 17/12/2017 15:58

Carry on regardless with a breezy “God, we were pissed!” It doesn’t have to go anywhere if you don’t let it. You don’t want to cheat? Don’t then. Chalk it up to a bad decision. Never be alone with him where it could get personal.

lovemylover · 17/12/2017 16:24

I wouldn't tell your dh, it was a silly drunken kiss, and you know it was a mistake, why ruin your marriage , ? your dh might make more of it than it is and the rows and incriminations would start, and escalate
Make sure it doesn't happen again, and if your boss doesn't mention it, take it that he doesn't want reminding either

Emmastone123 · 17/12/2017 16:28

Just move on. Pretend nothing happened. Avoid boss when possible.

Original poster

Whattodonow12345 · 17/12/2017 18:09

Think the majority of people seem to suggest just pretend it never happened so think i will go with that. Will see on it goes at work over the next few days...

Am feeling really bad at the moment. Almost want to cry. Dont really have any one i can talk this through with in real life. Am getting so stressed about it all.

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 17/12/2017 18:19

That's the right decision. It's not great but I wouldn't call a few kisses at a Christmas party cheating. I don't really think it's a big deal in the grand scheme of things. It's making a big deal out of it that's a mistake.

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 17/12/2017 19:34

Ha ha 'my marriage is in a good place '!
Obviously not because you got drunk and snogged your boss.

AvaRose87 · 18/12/2017 20:49

Heyyyy how did you get on today? Xx

Whattodonow1234 · 19/12/2017 12:55

Hey.. it wasnt too bad. He was very smiley but he didnt mentioned anything about the party. He seemed to have a twinkle in his eye when he spoke to me about work stuff.

I'll see how the rest of the week goes. But i

Whattodonow1234 · 19/12/2017 12:56

Sorry hit the post button too quickly... was going to say that i dont think i need to leave my job... doesnt feel too awkward.

AvaRose87 · 19/12/2017 13:18

That's good, good luck xx

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