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Original poster

I miss my child

11 replies

Jazz34 · 16/12/2017 01:00

I'm very unhappy. I know this may sound silly to some but I miss my teenage son when he goes to stay at his grandparents house once a week. It's only one night a week but I miss him terribly. I try to find things to do to distract myself and pass away the time but I still miss his presence. It's crippling. I love him so much and I know it's daft but I just want him here. I don't sleep much whilst he is gone, I feel like I'm pining for him. I don't tell him how I feel because I don't want him to feel guilty for visiting his grandparents. Any idea how I can get over this?

OP posts:
readyforapummelling · 16/12/2017 01:06

Get yourself a hobby. My 1 year old stays at GP once a fortnight and I make the most out of it.

Do you have a DP/DH?

MiddleClassProblem · 16/12/2017 01:10

Any chance you can get out the house for some of the evening to break it down? Maybe listening to an audiobook at night too to help those hours.
Is there anything you’d like to do but can’t because he’s around? I mean like a long hot bath, watching things he doesn’t like but you do, cooking food you love but he doesn’t?

I think you need to “date” yourself a little, even if you don’t want to go out. Try and bring the focus on to you not him not being there.

It will get easier x

Poshindevon · 17/12/2017 04:53

Your feelings sound very extreme almost like a jealous lover.That is not healthy for you or your son. You need to put things into perspective.
I am assuming your a single parent as their is no mention of DP/DH.
Go out on the night he goes to his grandparents, see a friend do somethng you enjoy istead of pining in the house. You need to make a life for yourself or you will struggle as your son grows up and builds a life of his own.Are you going to be pining and not sleeing when in a few years time he goes on dates or stays out with friends?

SD1978 · 17/12/2017 05:25

I’m with @Poshindevon- that is an extreme reaction. Does your son enjoy it? Does he know how anxious you are that he goes? I hope not, otherwise I’d assume that it would be somewhat marred for him, worrying about you. It’s one evening. Eventually he will be moving out. Start using that evening positively for you to find something you enjoy doing x

pinkandpurpleandred · 17/12/2017 05:35

You need to get over this and quickly.

When he is older he will stay out a lot more, maybe have a partner, eventually move out. You could make life very difficult if you react like this when he's not there.

Get a hobby, do things that you enjoy, make the most of kid free time.

RebootYourEngine · 17/12/2017 05:44

I have a teenager and feel a bit lost some days he isnt here but i know that in a few years time he will be an adult and move out.

Whenever he isnt here i busy myself doing things that i want to do. Things that i couldnt do when he was younger as i am a single parent and didnt have much free time.

I am looking forward to what the future holds and getting a bit more of my own identity back rather than just being mum.

AstridWhite · 17/12/2017 06:07

What pink said. Coming to terms with being an Empty Nester is really hard and you aren't even there yet. You'd better start learning some coping strategies now, before it ruins your life altogether. It's only going to get worse from here.

It isn't very healthy for him to have you fixating over him like this, he doesn't need that sort of guilt as he becomes an independent young man.

It sounds as though you don't have much life of your own and when he's not there you feel that acutely. The answer isn't to have him there 24/7, it's to start building a social life for yourself.

Tiddlywinks63 · 17/12/2017 06:32

It's good for him to have a night away op, you need to find something to occupy your free time because you're sounding obsessive.
I hope you're not telling him how you feel, that's an unhealthy relationship to have with a child.
All parents miss their DCs when they're not there but not to this degree.

Coyoacan · 17/12/2017 07:29

You have to find a solution to all this, OP. You want him to be able to make his own way in the world and have his own family. You've got to find interests of your own and start preparing for being on your own.

scrabbler3 · 17/12/2017 16:34

Why does he stay overnight with GPs once per week? He's likely to want to stop doing that soon. However, you need to build up a social life of your own if you don't already have one because he's going to become more and more independent.

BitchQueen90 · 17/12/2017 19:57

What do you enjoy doing? Hobbies, friends?

This does sound a bit extreme - I'd expect this from someone with a young baby but not a teenager. My DS is 4 and I miss him when he's at his dad's house but not to the extent that I'm pining for him. I always try and make plans with somebody so I have something fun to look forward to.

He is a teenager, chances are he'll be wanting more independence and to be spending time with his friends so you will have to get used to the alone time.

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