Need some mumsnet love today

[Neoflex]

Been sat up crying for a couple of hours and decided today is the day things change. Posted a while back about my miserable dh and was trying to understand why he is such a scrooge all the time. A few posters pointed out he sounded controlling so I decided to pay attention to it. And I started standing up for myself.

Well this resulted in several huge arguments this week and finally things just went too far. Dh grabbed my face and shouted in it calling me a bitch so loud spit went all over it. So I punched him twice, once in the face and once in the back. He then got a knife out of the drawer and pointed it at me. Plus all the vile names he called me.
This was because I argued back after a night of controlling comments.
I feel really shit anyway. At the end of a hard pregnancy. Been ill through most of it and just feel like I've lost most of myself.
So although I'm sobbing I feel like I have to make today a new day. I'm going to start by getting up early. Cleaning up the mess. Calling hairdressers to see if I can get my scraggy hair done. Try to meet a friend. Put on some decent clothes instead of pjs. And start to get my life back.
Please hold my hand.

He threatened you with a knife? It's time to call police. Really. This is very serious. I know it will feel like a huge step to take but if you do it, the rest will start to fall into place. Don't delay any longer.

I just took the knife out of his hand and put it back in the drawer. He was trying to be scary but he does not have the courage to use a knife. I think he wanted me to take the knife and use it on him so he could make out to everyone how "crazy" I am. It didn't work.
None of this shit is going to work on me ever again.

I'd call the police and tell them he pulled a knife on you - mentioning you're pregnant should get them to do something pretty much immediately. He sounds like such a barrel of wanksocks.

Get yourself out of there as soon as you can.

Sending love ❤ and a hand hold

Stay safe xx

Is the baby your first? You need to get out of this.

It's my first baby. Due any day now. Sat here deciding whether to have him at the birth.

Please speak to your midwife neoflex. It is well known that domestic abuse often begins or escalates during pregnancy and she is trained to help women seek support. You need to protect yourself and your child from this man.

I work in dv. Abuse increases with pregnancy and then again when a baby is born. Please seek help, get out before it gets worse.

You will be even more vulnerable when the baby arrives, won't feel yourself and may not feel as strong and positive as you do now.

Oh that sounds bloody terrifying. You are incredibly vulnerable right now and the midwife will be able to help you. Please please please tell someone who has a duty of care to you. I hope you can find a way to be safe as soon as you can.

Get out. NOW. Before he kills you.