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Four months pregnant, two year old, and partner left me

5 replies

ezramyra · 14/12/2017 00:00

Hi this is my first time starting a thread. I feel lost, numb and very depressed. I'm 4 months pregnant and have a two year old with my bf and he has tried kicking me out of our place. He has become very aggressive and is mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. We have decided it is best we go our separate ways but living with him while figuring out where to go and save money has become more difficult and impossible. I fear for my life and my unborn child. He won't hurt our two year old or has touched me anywhere around my stomach but has shoved me and knocking me over and that can lead to accidentally hurting the baby, as well as dealing with the stress and anxiety. I called the cops on him for the first time yesterday for becoming verbally aggressive and threating to rip my clothes and break my personal belongings. He locked me out of the house but I had my keys with me and stayed outside. I just didn't want to argue in front of my two year old and knew it would get physical. They had him leave but I got no sleep thinking he would come back and do something for calling the cops. Im overwhelmed and I'm trying to focus on my health and my two year old and show no sadness but I really just want to breakdown and cry. All I really wanted was a loving family but he has problems of his own he needs to resolve and I can't help him any longer after trying for three to four years. He's now drinking and smoking weed from the moment he wakes up to the moment he sleeps and I can't solve that issue for him unless he wants the help himself. I'm just feel so alone and scared to have this child on my own and all I keep thinking about is who's going to be with me in the dilvery room and it's the stupidest thought but I'm afraid. I just need advice from anyone who's gone through the same or similar situation as I'm going through and how can I go on and stay strong through all this?

OP posts:
Poshindevon · 14/12/2017 06:23

The title of your post says "partner left me " but thats not the case. You have chosen to stay with this violent and abusive man while figuring where to go and to save money.
This is madness. I was so worried when I read your post.One of you must leave the home. You cant stay in a home where a man beats you and smokes drugs with your child there.
Is the house in joint names , rented or mortgage if everything is in his name you and your children must leave.
Womens Aid will help you all the way. Please contact them today.
You must get out of this appalling situation.

ezramyra · 14/12/2017 16:10

It's under both our names and I don't have anywhere to go. If I leave my child is coming with me. The smoking and drinking is not done in front of the child he does everything outside but it doesn't really matter cause the side effects are still there so there's nothing good about that. It's unacceptable. Thank you for your advice I will definitely be making that call.

OP posts:
ezramyra · 14/12/2017 16:48

I was able to get work off and I'm using that time to do as much research and phone calls as possible and get different options and find what's best for us.

OP posts:
Kaykee · 14/12/2017 18:58

Try women’s aid? But before something happens you need to leave and get help, so sorry you’re going through this but clearly staying isn’t an option. Hopefully someone will come along who has more information than me. Take care of yourself x

DancingLedge · 14/12/2017 19:19

ezramyra I'm so sorry you going through this.
Keep going through the end of this relationship, and life will get so much better ,once you're out the other side.

You need legal advice.You need to see a solicitor.
You also need to keep going with the police action: this could make a big difference to your future.

I strongly suggest you start a thread in 'Legal', which is over in Other Stuff, where some lovely and experienced family solicitors hang out.

A more direct title might get more replies, like " DV, threatened at home and nowhere to go, what can I do?"

Phone Women's Aid. 0800 2000 247. May take a while to get through: keep trying.

Wishing you Flowersall the best.

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