Thinking of MIL at Christmas

[daisydinobum]

I've NC for this, long time poster and lurker

This might be long so bear with me...

So we are NC with my DH family... a long time for FIL who was abusive to his DM growing up to the extent that my DH got him arrested aged 14 and saw his mum through mental health placements, fed her and generally kept House.

More recently (within last 2 years) with SIL/BIL... they're long time CF who we should have called out their bad behaviour long ago but didn't for the sake of keeping the peace and having access to DNs x2. It finally came down to calling them on their most recent CFuckery of pocketing money that was rightfully ours that we knew was coming but not when or that they had obtained it.

Anyway we went NC, we've deleted and blocked them and

Not finished... pressed go to soon

There's loads more

We've deleted and blocked them and feel better for it...

HOWEVER and this is the bit I'm struggling with. MIL lives near SIL and we're 150 miles away. When we were still in contact I had a DC, they all visited when she was born but haven't heard from MIL, even when we were all getting along she never checked in to see how DC was ? She turned up the twice more we visited there but I felt only because it was just down the road.
It felt to me that she had her "close DGC" and that my DC didn't matter or was worth enquiringly after.

I'll make it clear that we HAVE NOT blocked her or fallen out with her it just feels as though shes not bothered contacting because she has her "close" family.

The problem is I know that SIL is nasty to her, abuse childcare, make fun of her to her face etc and I feel whatever void of abuse my FIL left she is now filling and making her feel worthless

When we were talking they'd often say to us "your turn to have her as xmas this year" which we would do but I'm scared they'll go off one xmas day and leave her alone.

DH is reluctant to contact her as he feels it will make contact with her as he feels it'll make it easier for SIL ago worm her way back in (she reads her text messages anyway!)

I guess what I'm saying is should we contact her to let her know we still think of her despite the fact there was no effort made her end before and how much to put down to her MH issues? Thanks for listening if you've got this far

If you phoned, would she answer or would you get SIL?

It's tricky cos they are around a lot and don't want to risk getting SIL or her being there when we call.

Early morning? I'd pick a time they're less likely to be around and call. Even if they answer, ask them to put your MIL on. Tell her it would be lovely to catch up and she's welcome at Christmas, or any other time, to come and visit.