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Constant criticism

3 replies

KimchiLaLa · 08/12/2017 22:15

H has a lot of redeeming qualities but he just will not stop criticising me and it's really getting me down.

Every single day he walks through the door and has to comment on something. The state of the house (we have a newborn and frankly it's still in great condition), where I've placed my handbag that day, (yes really), whether I've left a door open, the food I've made...there's always something. It's massively getting me down.

He makes even simple tasks really difficult to handle.

Today we gave the baby a bath. We had that awkward moment where we were transferring her to her towel. Which I had laid out on the bed ready for her. She cried as the cold air hit her - she loves her baths and didn't want to be taken out. This gives him
A chance to say - "well mummy screwed that up". Then after I noticed some milk hadn't been wiped off the folds of her neck even though I had used cotton wool there. Immediately - "well mummy was so keen to make it a nice experience for you she didn't do a thorough job".

There's daily incidents like that and frankly I can't deal with another 50 years of the same old comments. It massively winds me up.

How can I stop his behaviour?

OP posts:
CanWeJust · 09/12/2017 00:00

Have you told him point blank that his snide-y comment are hurting you? Tbh the things he's saying (especially the example in regards to bathing your DD) seem incredibly passive aggressive! Is this attitude new or has he always been like that?

Blackteadrinker77 · 09/12/2017 10:39

I'd take him out to lunch, just you and him. Sit calmily and tell him that his jibes/digs/jokes what ever he thinks they are are hurtful to you and you want him to stop.
Then come up with a sound/noise/word you will use to train him out of it. Like a cough etc, so that he knows that wasn't right to say.
Some times people don't realise that what they are saying is hurtful.

I had to have a similar conversation with my PIL many years ago. We have had a great relationship ever since.

ferriswheel · 17/12/2017 22:24

My stbxh did this. I'm sorry. Id get your escape organised. He's jealous of you. He's jealous of your baby.

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