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Original poster

Go to work tomorrow or not?

25 replies

Milkandtwosugarsplease · 27/11/2017 20:17

Been at a job I love for just under a year. Have had around 15 days off (unpaid) so far because DC have had various health issues. Management have pulled me up on it once although they have been quite understanding. Have spent all of today in hospital with breathing problems due to infection in lungs but now been discharged with medication. Now I’m questioning if I should go to work tomorrow. Don’t feel physically well enough but I really can’t afford to loose my job. WWYD?

OP posts:
Friolero · 27/11/2017 20:19

No, if you're not well enough you shouldn't go in, regardless of how many days you've had off so far.

1Vandal · 27/11/2017 20:58

You need to quit because it's obvious you're not doing either yourself or your workplace any favours by keeping them hanging on never knowing if you're going to turn up when they need you.

Original poster
Milkandtwosugarsplease · 27/11/2017 21:49

I always give as much notice as I can so they always have time to get a replacement. I’m really good at my job and my performance and results reflect this. My seniors have always made it clear that they’re happy with my work so no issues there. I can’t quit, I have mouths to feed and bills to pay!

OP posts:
oldlaundbooth · 27/11/2017 21:51

Could you go in but take it easy?

calamityjam · 27/11/2017 21:52

15 days does seem rather a lot though, do your dcs have chronic conditions?

cherrycola2004 · 27/11/2017 22:17

I'd go in

flowery · 27/11/2017 22:19

Are you taking it in turns with the DC father in respect of time off?

Sodaface · 27/11/2017 22:22

I’d go in, I don’t rave days off unless i can’t move. I have a very team based job though. In your situation as you’ve had so much time off I think going in is necessary.

StaplesCorner · 27/11/2017 22:24

well, at a push you could use some annual leave, but if your children have been ill and management are aware of this, I don't see how you then being ill is an issue?

NoSquirrels · 27/11/2017 22:29

15 days off unpaid in less than a year is a lot, but is a separate issue to you being ill yourself.

Do you have plans on place now for DC health issues? That’s what needs sorting, so you can concentrate on your job & not worry about your own illhealth when it’s reasonable to be off work.

NoSquirrels · 27/11/2017 22:31

I doubt the hospital would advise you to go into work. You need rest and to not be exposed to more germs for a bit.

Can you work from home?

Gazelda · 27/11/2017 22:31

If you went in tomorrow, do you think you’d be able to complete a full days work? Is it likely that you’ll make yourself worse and end up taking weds and thurs off?

mummymummums · 27/11/2017 22:33

15 days is a lot - it's 3 weeks.
Do you have any options regarding your DC such as sharing with their Dad, or grandparent? I think
I'd concentrate on that because now they have issue with it, even if it becomes much rarer then they'll be eye rolling. I appreciate you might not have options. If they've got chronic conditions I'd hope work could be understanding esp as it's unpaid leave.

Caulk · 27/11/2017 22:35

It’s hard for any of us to know as we don’t know what it’s like for you to feel the way you do, or what your job entails.

I tend to go in if it’s not contagious, so if you think you can do what you need to.

puffylovett · 27/11/2017 22:36

Can you go in just for an hour, explain your situation and then go home. Often better to be sent home than call in sick as it shows willing?

user1493580860 · 27/11/2017 22:38

How unhelpful telling her to quit work?! Something's just can not be helped especially with children. If it came to a disciplinary the time you have had off because of your children would not count towards the time you've had off, only the time off you've had for your self or other reasons but not for your children. The Dr would of said to stay off surely? And if you don't rest for a day or 2 you could end up off longer

headintheproverbial · 27/11/2017 22:39

User - I tell you what's not helpful. Giving diff advice. Time she has had off for her children may well count against her if she is disciplined!! Yes there are provisions in law for parents to have time off but only in certain circumstances!!

headintheproverbial · 27/11/2017 22:40

That should have said 'duff' advice!!

Appraiser · 27/11/2017 22:40

I always think turning in poorly to be sent home, shows a desire and commitment. But only if it isn’t contagious

You’re running at nearly 6% absence which is high IME. With the kids illnesses you need to consider alternatives eg family, dp

Appraiser · 27/11/2017 22:44

Time off for dependents (TOFD) in the employment law terms, must be “reasonable”.

Read that as you will.
There will be case law on it but most Companies have a trigger point system in place and make allowances but don’t completely disregard it. It’s still unplanned absence after all

Want2bSupermum · 27/11/2017 22:45

You need to take at least tomorrow off. See if you can work from home.

For your DC you need to figure out a back up plan. No details here but I assume expensive childcare options are not affordable for you. Speak to other parents and look to pay someone who can take your child when they are sick. I'm friends with a couple of SAHMs who take my sick kids for cash. Not ideal but you do what you have to do to provide for your DC. There are also some CMs who will take sick kids on an emergency basis.

Another thing is that if your child is sick for a week you shouldn't be taking a whole week off. If they have been sick 15 times you need to ask the doctor if something serious going on.

Original poster
Milkandtwosugarsplease · 27/11/2017 23:16

I appreciate the responses, thank you.
DH has also had to take time off with the children so yes that’s totally shared. It’s just been a really shit year and although none of them (or me) have any chronic illnesses it’s been lots of minor incidents that have required hosptalisation. The only other support/help with DC we have is one grandparent who has now become the emergency contact so I shouldn’t need to take any more time off for them.
The Dr advised the “rest of the week, depending on how you feel”.
I considered going in and seeing how I get on but that would be unfair and detrimental if I had to leave, my job requires cover if I’m not there.
I’ve contacted my boss and explained I need to take tomorrow off. I’m hoping that the medication will kick in and I should be ok to go in on Wednesday.
Just feel really rubbish about it all. I know children can’t help having accidents and I also know I need to work. I haven’t taken this much time off in the last 5 years in my last job.

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 28/11/2017 01:22

I've now got 2DC who have autism. I can end up having to take a serious amount of time off. I manage it because I'm more senior and in a role where I can work remotely when necessary.

I have a company laptop which is my savior. I can and have worked from hospital, while waiting for DC to complete therapy sessions, while DH is driving and when I fly back to visit my father. Talk to your manager and see if they can set you up. Even having the conversation and being upfront about your needs goes a very long way IME as a manager.

Original poster
Milkandtwosugarsplease · 28/11/2017 10:25

Want2beSupermum you sound like a total supermum! I’m not in a senior role but there is definitely Work I could do from a computer so will make sure I get that done while I’m home. I think it’ll be a really good idea to have that conversation with my manager and hopefully we can find a way to make this work. Thank you for the advice.

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 28/11/2017 11:00

Thank you. It certainly does not feel that way!!!

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