Neighbours toddler at home all the time

[TiredandConcerned]

This is probably going to be a unpopular thread but I need to ask for some advice.

I live in a terrace flat up stairs and my neighbour has 3 children downstairs. The oldest girl is not a problem. The middle boy does the usual poor manered boy stuff. The toddler is what is causing some concern. A bit of background. Their ceiling and our floor are so thin I can hear everything. The worst thing is that since the landlord below renovated, she didn't put any insulation or sound proofing back in. Because of this I can hear him squarking whenever he is being told off or about to have a bath (between 10 and 11pm every night). He runs up and down the full length of the house, plays ball and what seems like throwing a very heavy item. This usually starts at about 12pm for the next 12 -15 hours (that's right till 3am!). I work from home so I can hear it AND feel it all day and night. My floor shakes so badly throughout my flat I have had things leaning against the wall fall over. It's been 10 months and I'm tired 😔

I am aware a toddler plays but surely there needs a lesson in consideration. In a small 2 bed flat surely no running, no ball, no jumping, no throwing inside the house and quiet time after 10 is good practice. I don't hear any disciplining at all. They doesn't even try.

Discipline aside, my concern is this. The noise from this toddler is constant and every day. This has me concerned that he is indoors 24/7. I have seen him in the backyard twice and he has never left the house. I do mean never. I only hear the front door when they leave and come home from work or school. I'm no expert but surely this is not healthy for a developing toddler. The child does not have any other interaction with other children or people besides his immediate family. There have been only two visitora I have seen. One is a friend of the middle child and the other is a man who comes over in the middle of the night. He also doesnt talk he just makes noises like "AH AH AH" or squarks. He also isn't getting any fresh air. I can smell their house through our floors and front door. There is a park not far and he could release some of his toddler energy ther and get some vitamin D. Surely it is dangerous to run inside the house. What if he trips and falls on a sharp corner. Should I be concerned for the child's wellbeing? If so what can I do? It's not my place to tell parents how to bring up their child no matter how inconvenienced I am but its just worrying that that poor kid only knows the inside of his house.

I think you are over thinking it. Complain about the lack of noise insulation but asides from that leave them to it. There may be a whole host of reasons why the child doesn't go outside (or maybe they do and you just haven't realised).

I think you need a hobby ! Are you watching the comings n goings 24/7?
Unless it's an abuse/welfare concern (which it doesn't sound like it is) I'd just leave it be.

The mom probably has her hands full juggling day to day life and existence let alone managing to get out and about.

Have you spoken to the mom ?

First let the neighbour know about the noise. If things don't improve, write to your landlord. Just about the noise, not the welfare concerns. If you own your flat, write to your freeholder. You have the right to enjoy your lving space, as does your neighbour.

So you never leave your house either? Why?

Some people just don't take their toddlers out, you can't do anything about it. I know of two women that just never leave the house with their toddlers other than to get the shopping, they just don't want to.

I have a 1yo and we last went out 2 days ago, to the shop and back. I don't like parks and I don't like outdoorsy shit, so we stay indoors mostly. But that's my choice, as a parent, for my child.

By all means complain about the noise but stop stalking that family his development is a concern for his mum and his doctors, not you.

That's the problem with working from home and sleeping at home. I kinda need to be at home for these things.

I don't monitor them. It's just hard to ignore when I can hear and feel the noise when I am at home.

I'm not sure wh

I'm not sure why I'm being picked on right now when I just want to understand from others.

Have you spoken to them about the noise?

OP you're not being picked on!
You seem very over -sensitive.

Ask them to keep the noise down then go from there

There have been cases where people have had kids and never registered them. They keep them in the house all the time and none of the relevant public services are aware of the child. You never know the family could be doing that. Or maybe they don't have any money and don't like outside. Unless the child was school age I wouldn't worry about it.

What on earth is 'usual poor mannered boy stuff?'

That's the problem with working from home and sleeping at home. I kinda need to be at home for these things. wink

Yeah but there are other aspects to life. Like going to the corner shop or the dentist or seeing friends and family. Do you never leave the house?

You can smell their house through your floor? Really??

'poor mannered boy stuff'

I know plenty of poor mannered girls too, why are you labelling boys as the ones with poor manners?

Now that's out of the way, I actually don't think you're being unreasonable at all in your concerns for the toddler. Even if he does get out it's obviously not much otherwise you would realise. I'm not sure what you can do but the life of the toddler seems somewhat chaotic with no real bedtime and a man coming over in the middle of the night. If you are concerned then get some advice from social services - if there isn't a problem then they won't find one.

I'm going to go against the grain here... I do think this should be reported.

Especially the smell, if it is so pungent you can smell it through the front door. Try knocking to raise the noise issue.

If from there you can see or smell that there are serious issues with hygiene or mess then definitely contact social services.

You need to move.

I was tempted to post you need to get out more but the irony was too great.

Your problem is a lack of sound proofing really OP. YWNBU to complain about that to the landlord.

But unless you also never leave the house then you can't be sure that they don't. If your life is 'normal' then theirs can't be construed as 'abnormal' can it?

But if the house smells like you say...that's worrying. How do the other children seem? Dirty? Unkempt? Is there rubbish building up? Neglect is more prevalent than people think and this might be worth keeping an eye on.

Sorry Im a little agitated because I was kept up all night.

YANBU - kids need fresh air and some sort of routine (most kids that age are in bed 7pm and perhaps anything up to 9pm depending on their routine).
Whenever you hear about kids being neglected everyone makes a fuss and wants to know why nobody noticed/reported anything.
It doesn't sound normal at all to me & I don't think YABU to be concerned for his welfare.
On MN you will be told to mind your own business however...

OP, honestly, I would ignore the "mind your business" brigade.

Say something. If SS find nothing they find nothing, all is well and you haven't done any harm.

BUT if in six months those children are taken into care filthy, riddled with lice/fleas/whatever, or God forbid something tragic happens, you might have to live knowing you did nothing.

If that child really is not going out, he might be seriously unwell. You have got to say something to someone.

There are one good advice here so thank you.

I have spoken to both parents about the noises after midnight when it wakes me up. I did complain once during the day when they kept on slamming the back door so hard the house shook. So Im 100% clear I have never complained to them about the noises like crying or even when they are playing. I don't feel like I can complain about these because they r children and it isn't my place to interfere with their parenting even though it's all the time till after midnight.

I don't quite understand why people think i dont leave the house. Of course I leave the house how do u think I know what the smell is outside the front door.

The smell is an odd smell like stale air but its sooooo strong. I can hear vacuuming and there is rubbish in the bins so I'm guessing they clean to a certain extent so I'm not sure what the smell could be. The kids look unkempt but I can hear the commotion when the toddler is given his bath so I assume they all bath.