In these circumstances

[Bpop]

I’ll try keep this brief so it makes sense
Been with my dp since I was 16 (now we’re both Early 20s) we have 2 kids, both with complex/severe needs (autism amongst other conditions) and are in a special school. As a couple we naturally find it very stressful and difficult meeting the kids needs, so do argue a lot and have a lot of strain on the relationship. They’re well cared for and never go without. I just feel like I can’t stand dp anymore
I care for him but don’t want to be with him. But I’m not sure if this is due to the circumstances around the kids which is the basis of most of the stress/not getting on. We do have conflicting personalities at times - I have anxiety and depression and his view on MH is prehistoric, so not much empathy in that department. I’m also scared I won’t cope alone physically meeting the children’s additional needs without him.
What would you do?

I don't think anyone else can know what to do in your circumstances. It is incredibly stressful having two small dc for most people, but having dc with complex needs just makes life so much more difficult. the % of relationship breakups is much higher for parents of children with special needs. Equally, life is incredibly difficult lone parenting 2 x dc with complex needs.
Is there any possibility of some respite ? Of carving out a bit of time together - even if it were in the day when they are at school ? - to try to talk do something nice together for an hour or two and try to laugh together and just do something daft like... I dunno... playing crazy golf or something daft every now and then. To try to remember why you liek and love one another, and to be able to talk about how you didn't meant o snap at him for this, or that he didn't mean to be horrible about that, but to acknowledge how stressed you both are?
I know it sounds a bit simplistic, but sometimes it is the little things that help.