School friend disclosed abuse at home to my DD?

[ilovewelshrarebit123]

My DD (10) is good friends with a girl in her class. This girl lives at home with her mum, mums boyfriend and a baby (BF’S baby). BF also has a 9 year old son who stays.

I’m going to call her P. P has been for sleepovers at my house and has always wanted to stay longer and been reluctant to go home. She goes quiet and sad when she knows it’s time to go home.

She’s told DD a few things over the last few months that I’ve raised my eyebrows at ie BF shouting and being aggressive, name calling, he spends all their money in the pub even the kids savings.

I’ve met him and I can’t stand him, he makes me uneasy and I’ve never let my DD go for a sleepover etc.

Today she came to school visibly shaken and white as a sheet, and couldn’t talk. During break my DD ask what was wrong and she told DD and another girl, BF had grabbed his son by the throat as he’d spilt something in the kitchen this morning. He then told P this would happen to her every time they misbehaved. He’s also made similar threats about her school work as she wasn’t doing well.

She told DD she hates him, he’s a bully and she’s petrified of him.

The other girls mum has corroborated what she’s said as she’s spoken to her DD who said the same thing.

Would you report this? If yes who to, SS or the school as it was disclosed in School. I’m friendly with P’s mum and I’m worried P will tell her she’s told my DD and she’ll work out it was me.

Also it’s going to make things much worse for P isn’t it as he’ll go mental at her, but I can’t stop thinking about that poor girl.

We went to the school, told her teacher who was horrified. She went to get the headmistress who honestly couldn't have cared less. She had nothing to say, showed no empathy and just said now we'd told her she'd have to fill 'the form' in and send it off.

She said there is nothing the school can do other than refer to the professionals. I suppose she's right but we both felt like it was a hassle for her. She even asked if we'd prefer to contact SS, so we were really disappointed with her reaction.

But it's done and I also called SS but the duty worker was busy on another call. I'm going to follow this up again on Monday with SS to ensure the school referred.

P disclosed more to my DD this morning and my poor girl cried when she got home from school as she hates that this is happening to her friend.

Oh welsh this is such a horrible situation. Thank you (hopefully don't sound trite) for doing what needs to be done in order to protect these children.

Just to add that your dd can call child line herself and talk about how she feels. One of my DC had a friend who disclosed abuse and found Childline supportive and helpful in dealing with the feelings caused.

Thank you for being an advocate.

Huge hugs for your daughter xx.

Please don't wait until after the weekend. If she is disclosing it may be because things have escalated quickly.

You don't want to spend the rest of your life wishing you had done something before something really bad happened. Please report tomorrow am to the duty social worker. There will be one.

You can also contact the NSPCC helpline and make a referral to them, they will then pass the referral to social services. Social workers prefer direct referrals but have to accept all referrals, you may find it quicker and easier to do this. The number is 0808 800 5000, it is staffed 24/7.

Your OOH SS will be able to take action. What borough are you in OP? You can find the number by googling your borough children's social services

Hope action is now being taken. Op you did the right thing. And taught your daughter how to handle this type of situation the right way x