Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My partner has walked out of his job

26 replies

hollyindie · 15/11/2017 21:11

Ok!

So I’ve just had a phone call off my partner saying he can’t take his job anymore and he is coming home he is done!

I’m panicking like mad! I’m 30 weeks pregnant and was hoping to finally wind down from my job ready for maternity leave and now this!

He is a nightmare when it comes to work. He has only been in this job 4 months and moved to work here to be finally be the higher earner in the family so I could have maternity stress free now I’m scared I’m going to have to stop my time off with baby and I won’t be able to afford the bills and everything.

Why has he done this when baby is due and Christmas is round the corner? I’m so stressed I just need to vent!

OP posts:
ohtheholidays · 15/11/2017 22:28

I know how frightened you must be my ex Husband was the same the only way I got him to stick with a job was getting him to apply for a job where both of my big brothers worked,it was really high pay and they were really good employers and luckily he stayed there for years in the end.

Has he said why he doesn't want to work there anymore or what happened with the other jobs?

Is this your first DC?If so unless the job is unbearable because he's being treated badly he's going to have to stick with it at least for a while,it's one thing when you only have yourselves to worry about but he's going to have to learn that it's completely different when you have children.

I hope he changes his mind Flowers

LittleLights · 15/11/2017 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RunningOutOfCharge · 15/11/2017 22:29

Why is he leaving?

My ex did this a few times. He’s my ex for that very reason!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Families General pregnancy
Bochdew · 15/11/2017 22:31

I would be absolutely livid and if he doesn’t already have a solution in mind it would make me seriously reconsider the relationship.

Original poster
hollyindie · 15/11/2017 22:55

He left because he said he can’t cope being there anymore.
He was supposed to be out of his probation on Monday but they extended it for another month because he was off sick one day.

I told him that the company are just protecting themselves and that to ride it out it’s nothing personal against him but he said it’s a joke and he won’t be humiliated. He has tonsillitis atm and is milking every second of it. I think he needs to grow up and realise that he isn’t just looking after himself anymore like you say.

We’ve argued about him not turning up to work before and I’ve tried explaining my worries to him about baba and me and all I get back is “you have no faith” - well right now no I don’t :(

I’m really considering about getting him employed where I work so I can keep an eye on him but I don’t want him ruining that place for me either.

I said he has no excuse to not start looking for a job first thing.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 15/11/2017 23:01

I'd be fuming! Does he think he will just walk into another job tomorrow? Is he always so impulsive?

SonicBoomBoom · 15/11/2017 23:05

I think you need to make your piece with the fact that you're going to be carrying him as long as you're together. You're a one-two man team.

Bet he doesn't pull his weight with the housework or baby when it's here either.

ivykaty44 · 15/11/2017 23:07

I’m sorry but I don’t just buy his story. He was off sick one day and they extended his probation by a month...you sure he wasn’t sacked or told to leave before fired?

Get him to the DWP tomorrow and see what you can claim, the quicker you do this the better, also claim council tax relief and HB if appropriate. Then get him job hunting

ThePinkPanter · 15/11/2017 23:07

I smell BS that his probation was extended because of one sick day.....

BagelGoesWalking · 15/11/2017 23:10

“I’m really considering about getting him employed where I work so I can keep an eye on him”
*
Like childcare*, you mean?

Sorry, but it’s all about him, isn’t it. Does he have any good points?

seventeenlittleducks · 15/11/2017 23:12

My probation was extended for 4 weeks because I was off sick for 1 day during my probation period also. That's the policy for some company's. It does happen believe me. Where I work the sickness policy is extremely strict.

ThePinkPanter · 15/11/2017 23:14

Oh my goodness that's ridiculous! Apologies OP, I genuinely wouldn't have thought any business would be so harsh!

ivykaty44 · 15/11/2017 23:16

It’s an excuse by the company to extend the probation, but also means they can use the probation to say goodbye to people who don’t fit

Kr1st1na · 15/11/2017 23:17

Extending probation by one moth isn’t harsh . It’s quite normal and he’s being an arse to take it personally .

Butterymuffin · 15/11/2017 23:20

Don't get him a job where you are. He'll ruin your reputation by association. He really ought to ask for this job back.

ThePinkPanter · 15/11/2017 23:27

I think it's harsh for one single day sick!

Original poster
hollyindie · 15/11/2017 23:31

The thing that’s wound me up the most is they have tried calling him tonight and I’ve said to talk to them and speak about what’s happened. If they are calling him they obviously want to see what’s up and hopefully invite him back to talk things through? He won’t answer them Because he doesn’t know what to say!!

I feel like calling them up in the morning and asking what’s actually happened.

You’re right with the no housework currently he has 4 tops that are next to the washing basket but it’s too much effort actually putting them in!
I’ve broken down only a month ago about helping me out but I’ve got nothing back and now this :(

I think it’s time to get extremely tough with him in a make or break situation.
I’m scared to leave I’m 30 weeks pregnant and will need all the support I can get but I know that if he is like this he isn’t good to be around and arguing will be awful environment for our baby

OP posts:
SonicBoomBoom · 15/11/2017 23:42

I’m scared to leave I’m 30 weeks pregnant and will need all the support I can get

He's not going to be any support to you whatsoever. He's going to suck up vital energy and effort that you should be giving to your baby, and yourself to recover from birth, leaving you worse off than if you were on your own.

Please, PLEASE give the baby your surname. You will really regret it if you don't.

C0untDucku1a · 15/11/2017 23:46

You will be better off on your own than with a waste of space partner

Original poster
hollyindie · 16/11/2017 07:09

Our baby is having my surname I’ve said it from the start that is happening.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 16/11/2017 07:16

i think you have decided you dont want him as a partner, you dont believe him, you dont hear his side of the story, you accuse him of milking it.
you want him to work where you do to keep an eye on him, despite you leaving on maternity leave soon.
that does not sound like a relationship.
go it alone op.

PaperdollCartoon · 16/11/2017 09:13

This man is not a partner, you’re not a team. He’s a man baby. That isn’t support!
And you can give baby whatever name you like. My sister gave in and gave my DN his fathers name, she’s regretted ever since. Just give baby your name.

BagelGoesWalking · 16/11/2017 10:19

Do you have family/friends you could stay with after the birth of necessary and he is not forthcoming with decent support? A back up plan in the event?

Who knows, the man may grow up when he realises he’s a father.

Have you been able to sit down with him and have a frank discussion about how important it is that he keeps his job as you won’t be bringing in a salary soon.

WineAndTiramisu · 18/11/2017 20:27

Unless he was in actual danger, he shouldn't be walking out of a job with a pregnant partner! Who does he think is going to pay for living costs?!

I'd be sitting him down and laying out what he needs to do to not be kicked out...

Ritualunion · 28/11/2017 20:32

My DH did the same, left a job when I was heavily pregnant. There was good reason for it but still made me anxious about money and security. I was a bit resentful if I’m honest but I think he would have got deeply depressed if he’d stayed. Does your partner have any ongoing issues with depression/anxiety? Btw, things are fine now, he got a new job when our baby was 3 months old so I looked on the positive side and felt that at least he had that extended time at home with us. Hope everything works out for you, take care of yourself.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.