8yo kid, 12a rated film

[yowerohotesies]

I have a dilemma.

DS is 8, but a late August birthday so youngest in his school year.

He's been invited to a friend's 9th birthday party, we accepted the invitation not knowing what the actual plan for the party is.

Now it turns out the plan for the party is to watch a film that is 12a rated and having read the plot on Wikipedia I don't think DS should watch it. I think it's probably OK for a 10yo. The friend whose 9th birthday it is is probably quite mature for a 9yo as he has several elder brothers and spends family time in pursuits that are generally more teenage-focused. Ds is an only child and is emotionally quite immature for an 8yo so there is quite a gulf.

Every possibility seems wrong to me - I asked the mum of birthday boy to confirm the film and she said they would change the film if I didn't think it suitable. However although that would solve it I feel that would be really inappropriate and unfair for the birthday child to not have the film he wants for his party. DS would lose the respect of his friends if his mum either triggered a change of film or prevented him from attending. I don't want him teased fir being too babyish (this happens at a low level already as naturally as the youngest in the year DS is always going to be among the last to grow out of enjoyment of stuff aimed at younger kids eg he got flack for still liking octonauts)

Anyway this film has quite a bit of violence and has some quite nasty features of death, betrayal, occult themes and horror that I don't think DS is at all going to be able to deal with. For comparison DS doesn't like Dr Who as it is too scarey. But some 12A films have been OK eg he was fine with The Force Awakens.

So WWYD?

Definitely depends on your child.

DS is 7 and has watched all the HP films with no problems at all but films which different themes would upset him. I am watching number 6 with him right now!

If you want him to go and to not change the film I would prepare him. Make sure he knows who lives and does and what happens at the end.

One thing I have noticed is actually the language in the later ones. Bitch, tosser, bastard are all in there. Lots of questions from DS which I have to navigate!

There is no shame in feeling he is not ready. Bad dreams can have an impact for days and weeks to come.

Good luck!

I would add that although DS loves them, I wouldn't have the later ones at a birthday party as I wouldn't presume for other parents and I wouldn't want to put someone in the position you are in.

My just turned 8 year old was fine with the first two Harry Potter Films. He's only seen the first half of the third film though, and we had to skip the bits about the dementors. I think the latter part of the film would really scare him, so I've said he can't watch it right now.

We've watch Pirates of the Carribbean together (pretty sure that's a 12), and he was fine with that).

Personally, I think when other people's children are involved, I'd just stick to the certificates.

I guess the party's been and gone now!

I'd always play it safe and go for something lower than age rated and a bit culty or daft. And watch the film first.

DS's French teacher recommended some films that he could watch (age appropriate I thought). Now I may be a prude, but kids snogging in the school loos, girls having their first period and freaking out, and a lad having an allergic reaction to a condom (with his sisters best mate) wasn't my idea of a 12 rated film.