Should I answer letter from my daughter's boyfriend?

[YouthsAStuffWillNotEndure]

Our daughter is in her late 20s and has been v happy in a relationship for the last 2 years. However she & her boyfriend are currently on a break due to issues of his. She is quite sad but still very loyally defends him and tells us not to think badly of him. He has now written us a letter in which he thanks us for welcoming him so warmly into our family and saying he hopes to see us again. He does not discuss his relationship with my daughter.

Would you reply to the letter? I don't really have anything to say, but am aware that no reply could be construed as pointedly & resentfully ignoring him which is not a message I want to convey. I have of course told my daughter who said he had mentioned he might write to us. She suggested that as he is not close to his own parents he might be wanting advice from us, but this would be tricky for us bearing in mind our first loyalties are obviously with our daughter. My husband is leaving it entirely up to me to decide whether to reply and if I do, to choose what to say because "you're so good at this sort of thing" (!?) but I can only think of rather banal platitudes as I in no way want to interfere in their relationship.

Having been in this situation as the letter writer not receiver I'm in two minds as to weather you should reply or not.

I wrote a letter to my GF's parents after a very difficult time in our relationship which neither of us had any control over but I'd had enough as it was effecting everybody around us and felt it wasn't fair for us or family.

Firstly I wanted to tell them how much of a good job they had done raising their daughter and that she was an amazing person. I also wanted to thank them for letting me become part of the family and welcoming me with open arms and wish them all the best...... it went into much more detail but don't want to disclose too much.

I got my mum to proof read my letter and after she read it (both sat in tears) she told me to rip the letter up and if I truly believed everything I had written down then I shouldn't be breaking up with her and that everyone who was being effected by it understood because it was a horrible situation to be involved in at such a young age.

8 1/2 years later we have a beautiful 3 year old girl, our own house and an amazing future. If I had sent the letter I think I would have liked a text or card back just to acknowledge that they had received it and had no hard feelings.

Text is the easiest way but leaves yourself open for a reply whereas he is unlikely to reply to a letter or card. Hope it works out for you.

A thanks for the letter card would be perfect. Don't ignore it, his letter wasn't rude or hurtful and unfinished business never feels good for either party.

I'd put

'Dear exdaughter'sboyfriend'.

Thank you so much for your letter and kind words. We enjoyed welcoming you into our family and whatever happens in the future we will think of you fondly and wish you well.

Best wishes

Or something like that.