I'm being wrecklessly defiant, but I need to do it in a tactful way. Incoming essay!
My Nana had a mastectomy, and a large quantity of lymph nodes removed last January. She's still having some issues with fluid build up. Since the surgery, she prefers wearing vest tops with the shelf support inside to a bra. She had some M&S ones, which wore out, so now she's wearing Primark, which she's said digs in. She has issues around money, is endlessly generous with others, but won't spend large amounts on herself unless you count buying hoards of 'bargains' that she doesn't actually need, and often aren't fit for purpose, but that's another thread
I offered to get her a couple of the M&S ones for her birthday, and she went mad and said not to as she thinks it's too much for me to spend (it's not at all). I think she needs to be wearing correctly fitting ones for her recovery as much as her comfort, so I've bought her a couple anyway. The debate is, how do I get around it, without stressing her over spending money? I'll have to give her the receipt, as I wasn't sure on the size, so she'll know I paid full. Would you just tell her 'tough luck/my money, my choice', or would you fib about how much you actually spent out of pocket? (OH has a staff reward scheme at work where you can buy gift cards for some stores at a 20% discount, M&S isn't one of them, but she has no way of knowing that. Also my bank does cashback offers when you use your debit card, again she'd have no way of verifying this, and neither would show on the receipt). Any alternative ways of handling it?
She hates people spending on her, so I usually buy her small gifts, or gifts that I can pretend cost less than they do, so I can downplay the spend. I can't this time, but she needs them IMO, and I know she won't buy them for herself.