How do I tell him?

[dazedandconfuse]

So I went for an abortion on Thursday, my ex came with me (father of the baby) anyway we were at the clinic for about 4 hours, I had my blood tests and eventually the scan, I asked to see the baby, and as soon as I saw that big old baby head and it was moving around like crazy I just broke down. I couldn't go through with it. So I left, and as far as my ex is concerned, I had the abortion. He has no idea I didn't go through with it. We are still very good friends, hang out regularly and talk all the time, but he is a huge dickhead. He made it clear he wanted absolutely nothing to do with the baby if I kept it. However, after the "abortion" he said to me "you know I would of wanted to be involved if you'd kept it" and now I'm like... what the fuck?

I know he's a dick. But we have been friends for many years and I am in short supply of those right now. We are only young, 20 and 21.

What's going to happen when I tell him I didn't go through with the abortion? How's he going to react? I have no idea what will happen. Not even that I care that much really, more I just would like to know, so I can be prepared I guess

Sorry op it didn't go as well as you hoped. You did the right thing telling him though. Maybe his attitude or his mums will change once baby arrives. Good luck

Op im so sorry it didn't go well. Give him a bit more time for it to settle in. I hope he calms down.

I' sorry OP but you did do the right thing. He had right to know. I'd message him when baby is here just a FYI. He's angry and acting out and he MAY change his mind with time.

I wouldn't lie to people about who her Dad island I wouldn't lie to her once she's old enough to ask.
His parents may or may not have responded how he claims. If your lives intersect with them I'd be honest too in case they got a different version.

Xx

I'm so sorry OP.

But you sound so together: you have a plan and you know what you want. Stick to it and be strong!

Cut the ex and his family out completely and focus on your plan. Sounds like you have enough in your plate.

Also, hopefully your little boy will love a sibling! It is extra work but also extra love!

He's your ex for a reason right ?

Do what's right for you - that's all you need to think about. The ex sounds like a real tool to be honest !

Don't fret about his family - their loss

What an extreme reaction from him and his family?! However, maybe fb messenger wasn't the best but I do understand needs must. Give him and his family time for the news to sink in. I wish you and your little family well 😊💐

I'm not in the least surprised. But PP's are right in that telling him was the right thing to do.

Move forward on your own and don't contact them again. But remember that he does still have a duty to support this child. Sending him out of the country to study is just their way of avoiding that. When the time comes, file a claim for maintenance even if you don't know where he is or if he's out of the country. At least it'll be on file if he returns.

After thinking about it I actually can't see him leaving the country to be honest as he goes to uni 45 mins away from home and can't bare it and says it's too far :/ think he was probably just saying all he could to try and upset me but I'm not really arsed 🤷🏻‍♀️ of course it would be nice for baby to have a nice dad but I was fine without one (apart from that could have influenced my absolutely horrific taste in men!!) but all my siblings are great successful happily married etc without having a dad in their lives!

Op this isn't a surprise. You just need to focus on you and baby now. Then cms his ass.