Should I get to know my family?

[Ami226]

My mum and dad split up and divorced when I was 5years, there was a domestic violence incident in their marriage. My Mum stopped me from seeing him completely, moved areas with a new partner. They made me keep our real dad a secret from everybody we met and pretended my step dad was my real dad! They then had a child who is now 21 and she has no idea that we have different dads. The problem is that our real dad has had children and they have contacted me via social media.. I really want to get to know them and possibly my dad but feel guilty..what should I do?

Why do you keep saying 'our real dad'? Did your mom and 'real' dad have other children that she took with her when they divorced?

Yeah I have a brother and a sister

I don’t think you should feel guilty; it’s completely natural to want to meet your siblings and your dad. I’d be open about it with your mum tho as if you hide it then it comes out which it likely will if you get on with them then it’ll be more hurtful.

You have no need to feel guilty but if your maternal half sibling still doesn't know you have different fathers that's going to be a tricky pickle. I think you can understand your Mum's point of view about wanting to protect you all from a violent man, and you may not actually know the full ins and outs here, but your paternal half siblings have done nothing wrong and had nothing to do with any abuse, they are entirely separate people from your father. Hopefully not damaged by ongoing domestic abuse in their lives.
What do you want to do? The best thing is to decide what you would do if you ignored all the other politics, then you can get advice targeted at helping you with that choice. For example if you wanted to see them then you could canvass opinion on how to most diplomatically manage that conversation with your mum and siblings. You are part of a family, yes, but you are also important and how you feel is as worthy of consideration as any other member, your maternal half sister might be in for a shock, that's sad but it wasn't your choice to lie to her. You decide what you want and then proceed with the assumption that your family will have to take your needs into account too so you don't hand them sticks to beat you with accidentally.
There are some pretty good reasons not to lie to children about such important things, the fact it often bites you right in the arse in about 20 years is one big one.