Worried about a friend and her family

[namechangedfor2day]

I'm a bit worried about a friend and her family. They're both stay at home parents and have a 5yo child. Over the weekend I found out some things about how they are struggling with mental health problems and are having issues such as self harm and od episodes. Their child is a very energetic child and often hits and kicks people which seems to make the situation at home worse. Not that it's important but he's recently started cutting out his hair and clothes and screaming at people that he wants to be different.

What I'm wondering is should I tell someone? As a teacher if I heard about a student living like this I would raise a safeguarding issue immediately but this is a friend and I don't want to make their situation worse with children's services. I could hope that school raise it as he's at full time school but I really don't know. What would others do?

Depends how you found out. If it was by seeing them yourself I might get in touch with the kid's school.

If it wasn't, you need to go round and find out for yourself. Don't do anything about hearsay. Maybe you can help in a practical way anyway.

I was told directly. My friend and I had a conversation this morning about it and she told me everything that's been going on.

@plantsitter that might be an idea. I wouldn't want the school to tell my friend I've told them about her though. If they would keep it confidential and anonymous I would definitely do that.

I'm sure they wouldn't. You wouldn't, would you, as a teacher?

You could combine it with helping them yourself but if you are genuinely worried you should not take the whole responsibility on.

If your friend is telling you about it openly I think you can consider it a request for help can't you.

Ok. So school said they know about the family and they are open to conversation with them. They said it's not a concern and they will deal with anything that is. Guess I was worried over nothing.

Yet I still feel worried

No. You did exactly the right thing and the concern is logged. They will be all casual about it to you because they don't want to seems gossipy but you can bet the teacher will be keeping an extra eye out just as you would in that situation.

Phone NSPCC and discuss your worries and see if they feel there is anything else you should / could do.
0808 800 5000

@BackforGood I took your advice and called them. The girl was really nice and said she will speak to children's services immediately. She has since called me back to say children's services know about the family and investigated them four years ago with no concerns. They have had no contact from other agencies or the school to suggest any further action. So I guess I really was worried over nothing.

No, you weren't worried over nothing. You were worried and did the right thing. There will be other people who will notice things, which combined with your concerns will make a difference.

It's ok to report again, if you need to.

Agree with Pickle - just because they haven't been involved over the last 4 years, doesn't mean the family aren't struggling now. Any notification will add to a picture, and if other concerns are expressed, it will be helpful.