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Original poster

Restricted list on Facebook

35 replies

IndependentMum · 15/09/2017 19:57

Hi, I've felt the need to add a couple of people onto the restricted list on facebook this evening. One of the mums at school who seems to know all of my business but never 'likes' my posts, and a couple of ex boyfriends. I don't particularly want to unfriend these people as I know particularly with the mum at school it would cause drama. But at the same time I don't want to share things with people who I can't fully trust. Do other people use this restricted list or is it better to unfriend full stop?

OP posts:
CotswoldStrife · 15/09/2017 21:04

I use the restricted list quite a bit actually! Mainly to stop someone who is not a FB 'friend' of mine from seeing posts of mine that would appear in the timeline of our mutual friends.

MarciaBlaine · 15/09/2017 21:07

I never understand FB angst. It is not obligatory. I love FB but I would block anyone who posted unacceptable shite or otherwise never engaged. You can have groups for stuff e.g. School without being friends with everyone.

Thinkingofausername1 · 15/09/2017 21:11

I'm getting fed up with someone who likes everything I comment on and I am finding it quite uncomfortable. i don't want to block them though like you OP but I'm not sure how to stop them seeing my activity

Puppymouse · 15/09/2017 21:17

I get where you're coming from OP and have a few people who will comment that they saw I'd done X etc but never comment or like my posts. I don't need them to but I guess as a bit of a people pleaser myself if I see someone posting something sweet with their kids or pets or funny I will like it. It's just a nod of acknowledgement. But I don't think everyone thinks like that!

SonicBoomBoom · 15/09/2017 21:18

I'm not one of those people who gets offended by lack of 'likes', but I do get offended when people seem to be deliberately ignoring the rare things I post on FB but then mention in real life stuff to me that they've clearly seen but chose not to respond to.

You expect everyone who reads what you post to comment or "Like" then? Why is it "deliberately ignore", rather than just "read it in their news feed, but had nothing to say publicly about it"?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 15/09/2017 21:24

I have a restricted list with about 80 of my 100 friends on it. Everything I post those 80 people can see; the other 20 can't see anything I post at all.

Original poster
IndependentMum · 15/09/2017 22:03

I wonder if it's a good idea to confront these people @Maisypops or just to let it ride and get rid? what do you think? I'm seriously annoyed by her hot and cold behaviour and part of me wants to call her out on it, but the other part of me says it's not worth it and just let go and keep my distance

OP posts:
Original poster
IndependentMum · 15/09/2017 22:09

@SonicBoomBoom no I don't expect everyone to like it. I see it as a deliberate ignore when a person obviously knows something I've posted because they acknowledge it in real life but choose not to respond to it. But yet same person seems to like all and sundry of other people's posts on FB. To me that indicates that said person has some sort of 'issue'. Tonight I have posted congratulations to her son for winning an award at school and she has liked everyone who has posted, even the ones below me (so I know she has seen it) but she chooses to ignore me. It's out of order and toxic behaviour. It has naff all to do with me, i'm just the one being nice.

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 16/09/2017 06:58

Independent
From experience it's not worth it.
You can't win against manipulative and sly people like that. They are always the victim of you being awful and if you mention it to anyone else then because of their doe eyed 'im so lovely and lack confidence' act the response is 'but im sure they didn't mean it. They wouldn't be like thay'.

I've been tempted to restrict her too seeing as she seemingly wants to view all.mine but send her own message (it's not that she is private by the way because she has half the workplace added, even people she barely speaks to). It's not worth it because you know the fall out will be 'but i just don't understand what maisy dislikes about me. Why would she do such a thing?' And then probably change her settings to show everyone how she has hers open Hmm

The sad fact is people like that are good at manipulation. They are excessively friendly to people unless they've put a target on your back and then rather than just agree to be civil they try to be sly about it. You've jist got to humour then whilst trying not to get annoyed that nobody else sees it.

Original poster
IndependentMum · 16/09/2017 17:54

@Maisypops yes you're totally right. They twist everything around to be the victim. Fortunately I know enough now about these types not to take it personally, but it still annoys me! I think i'll make a gradual retreat from her and keep my emotional distance... thanks for your post

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