Not our turn to host Christmas again - help me say no!

[KichenDancefloor]

We are friends with three other families and all have similar aged kids who get on well. We all meet up about three times a year, including once around Christmas to celebrate together. We also see each other separately but getting all of us together around, work, family and children's commitments takes serious effort.

We are meeting up this weekend and the C word will come up. There are three of the four families (us included) who always offer to host and one family who never does anymore. It has been about 5 years since we last went to their house. We haven't even been invited for a cup of tea or a play date together as a group or separately.

It is their turn.

The weird thing is that it has now become a 'thing'.

Conversation starts: Who would like to host this Christmas?
Family 1: we did it last year, but you'd all be welcome to ours.
Family 2: nonsense, we'd love to have you all to ours.
Family 3: surely it's our turn? I have a new recipe I'd like to try out.
Family 4: ..... silence.....

...... tumbleweed.......

......looking at floor......

It drives. Me. Mad.
Surely these things are give and take?
I'd really like to say that it's their turn but know I'll come out with something far too subtle.

So advice please:

• am I being unreasonable for expecting an invite from family 4?
• do you have any good way I could phrase it? I hate confrontation but want to be direct rather than passive aggressive.

Thanks for reading to the end.

I think you just need to be bright and breezy and say

'Oh great idea to meet up for our christmas do .. FAM 4 - what sat suits'

In reality - I wouldn't have the guts

I'm much braver on MN threads than in real life too!

Thanks for updating OP

Probably just talking to the ether here, but in case anyone has this thread on their 'watch' list... an update.

So family 2 caved and hosted an informal pre-Christmas get together for us all, which was lovely.

Family 4 were no shows. There was some bs confusion about them not seeing the group thread which they are clearly on.

I think without this thread I'd be really huffy and think that I wouldn't bother with them much anymore. However seeing as lots of reasons were given by PPs as to why they might be avoiding contact, I'll think twice. They probably have a lot of 'stuff' going on and have chosen not to confide in us.

Ah well. We'll still be here for them on the other side if they want. In the mean time the rest of us will continue to meet and have fun and continue to invite but not expect anything of family 4.