More surgery on an episiotomy that isn't healed after 14 months?

[Misstomrs]

It's 14 months since I had a 'traumatic birth'. Incompetent trainee midwife (failed from her course for the management of my son's birth) who missed that my son's heart rate was pathological for over 45 mins so they had to literally pull my son out in a panic. It was pretty brutal. I had huge incontinece issues which are only just settling so sex was off the table for around 9 months. Now we've started again I get a lot of pain at the site of the episiotomy. Today we had to stop because I screamed. I also get a lot of pain during my period. It basically feels like the whole area between my vaginal and my anus is going to fall out (sorry if that's TMI). Ive had physio and do my pelvic floor but it makes no difference. Fentons procedure has been begrudgingly suggested by my consultant (who also cheerfully told me it may take 7 years to heal and I should aggravate the scar to promote healing) but I'm terrified of having more surgery there in case it gets worse. I feel a bit lost about it to be honest. Anyone have any experiences they would be happy to share?

Yowch. No experience OP but didn't want to read and run. It sounds horrendous.

Obvious if stupid questions: is your GP sympathetic? Have you asked for a second surgical opinion? If she or he (surgeon or GP) is coming across as grudging and unsympathetic they may not be the best person to advise you. I believe within the NHS you can choose and book - have a look around online for a unit that has a good reputation and try again with a different team. They may have different advice, or the same advice but offered in a way that makes you feel more confident about what they're proposing.

If you have any spare cash as a family, it's worth thinking about a private consultation. Doesn't commit you to having the surgery (or whatever) done privately but - in my experience anyway - can mean you get a better idea of all of the available options. (My experience was elective hernia surgery so might not be the same situation for you - but the private surgeon was definitely ready to try things that the NHS was trying to steer away from.)

Hope you find a good solution. I only had a fairly standard 2 degree tear and the recovery from that was painful enough.

Your gp needs to refer you to a surgeon who specialises I. Post childbirth repair. You don't need an ordinary gynae. You need somebody who makes it their life's work to fix this.

Also given that this has caused you long lasting Pain and there is an element of lack of supervision and mis-management involved you should speak of o a solicitor if you haven't already done so. I don't advise that lightly but if you've had serious issues which should have been avoided, you are entitled to be compensated to some degree.

Thanks ladies. You're so sweet to reply. I just went into the kitchen to have a little cry about how nice you both are.
My GP is lovely. I will arrange to see her.
NorthernLurker you're right about the solicitor but I feel really torn about it. I used to work for this hospital (that's a whole other story) and don't want to be seen as a money grabber but it has left it has certainly left its mark on me...

I had a Fenton's procedure and rectocele at 6 months post-birth of my first child.

My episiotomy was sewn up poorly and too tightly (I was haemorrhaging and they panicked. I think if there was a staple gun they would have used that!).

Couldn't have sex (too painful). Also had a prolapse. I use to get pain every time I went to loo. Periods not an issue as they didn't return till first was 1 years old.

Gynae did tell me risk of having surgery before completed my family, but as I said to him. I ain't going to be able to have sex to get pregnant if I don't have surgery so I'll take the risk.

Was in overnight for op. Massive improvement within 2 weeks. Sorted all the problems out.

Went on to have two more children. Both meant to be ELCS but no 2 came too quick and was vaginal delivery - no issues had a slight tear.

If you have the money then I would recommend you see a consultant urogynaecologist. They specialise in these kids of injuries. Then if you like the person you see and are happy with their suggestions (make sure they work within the NHS as well as private) see your gp and ask for a referral to see them on the NHS

My urogynae has happily written to my gp telling her to refer me to him on NHS.

Good luck it's really rotten with these issues no one can see but they feel hideous all the time

Had surgery (privately in the end) and it was a god send. Can really make a difference.

I should add same as Ridingthegravytrain. Saw gynae on private insurance. They wouldn't cover op as birth injury. Surgeon just put me on his NHS list.

I would strongly reccomend a private consultation. Most BHS trusts tend to treat women, pregnant and postpartum women in particular like a burden rather than like patients.

Had to sign in to respond to this OP.
I echo all the other posters, find a consultant who specialises in this.
I was passed from pillar to post and felt fobbed off at every turn.
I had such problems with a fairly simple tear that wouldn't heal from a few misplaced stitches, I developed Vulvodynia which persisted for years.
I had the repair surgery and 7 years later everything is back to normal thank god.

It didn't take 7 years for it to get back to normal btw, it felt much better after about 6 weeks.

OP funnily enough I work for the NHS too and I see quite a few complaints when people talk about legal action etc. Mostly this is because something bad has happened and they feel there must be blame somewhere. Very often there isn't, the standard of care can be followed and you can still get a bad outcome because that's the way it is. However if something should have been prevented, was obvious but was not acted on, then that's totally different.
It's possible that compensation, if available, could help you seek further private opinions and be used for your recovery. That's not money chasing, it's fair treatment. You have to bring claims in a certain timescale I think so I would try and give it some consideration soon.
It may be that you decide that would cause you more stress in which case that isn't worth it, but do consider it and maybe discuss with your partner. This must have affected him significantly too but I bet he's said practically nothing about it?

Thank you everyone!

I am so touched that you all took the time to reply to me. It sounds like I should definitely explore a consultation with someone a bit more interested. As you say ttbb they have basically made out I am being a bit whiney. I have been told I shouldn't expect sex to be easy and to just persevere with painkillers to hand for afterwards. I know it's silly but we had a great sex life and I miss it.

Thanks for replying again northernlurker. Actually my husband really struggled to bond with our DS and had counselling. He couldn't be around him on his own for months but has made a lot of progress in the last few months. He would definitely be happy to pursue it legally but has left it up to me as he knows I still feel quite loyal to the hospital and feel bad about taking it further.

Given the issues we had - which they hospital have admitted - we would certainly have grounds for a case but I would still feel guilty. Is that utterly ridiculous?

No that's not ridiculous. I think actually you probably feel very let down by the hospital and that's really hard to process. It can feel like the best thing to do is to try and minimise it and legal action is about spelling out how much of an impact it had. It's very uncomfortable.

I'm also not surprised your husband struggled. That's a very common reaction to a traumatic birth.

Fundamentally you are entitled to a good sex life. Find somebody who agrees with that. They are out there

Shocked they would tell you to struggle along with painful sex. That's such an awful attitude!

Really hope it works out for you OP. And as a taxpayer and NHS user (and general 'I heart the NHS' type) I would have zero issue with someone in your position seeking compensation.

Thank you TresDesolee, that made me cry again. I just feel so guilty about even thinking it but that is such a kind thing to say.
Thank you everyone

Sounds like you saw an awful Bufton Tufton type who can't imagine why women would want to enjoy sex after having kids. Honestly, it makes me mad. You are NOT silly for missing your previous sex life. Nor are you silly for wanting to live your life free from constant pain and associated issues. As all the previous posters with experience have said, you just need to find one of the good specialists who understands that implicitly. Good luck!

I was stitched up dodgy after my episiotomy with my son. Sex was very painful, but I fell pregnant when he was 7 months old.

When my daughter was born, she tore her way out and ripped exactly where my stitches had been.

So they had to restitch me and it's absolutely fine now! I'm so glad that I didn't have to wait too long!

Hey ladies, I just wanted to say thank you for your support. I've been referred for surgery by my GP today. You guys have genuinely made a huge difference to me; you gave me the confidence to move this forward. Thank you

Great news

Great news!
Just a tip that worked for me.
When I had the surgery after a few days I started having baths with savlon liquid in it, it seemed to heal up very quickly after that. I had issues with infection though.
Best of luck and let us know how you get on.
This will get sorted lovey and seem like a distant dream in a year or so

Thank you. A year?! Eek. Pass the wine!

Oh god I didn't mean a year for recovery.
After my repair, mentally I rarely thought about it after a year.
It was a few weeks to feel miles better physically.

Phew! Thank you. Had a small panic then. Really appreciate you replying

Coming lateto this thread, I'm so glad you got the referral. I'm 5 years post-prolapse repair and am really glad I had it done.

I ended up having to have 2 Fenton's procedures and plastic surgery after birth of DS1. Couldn't have intercourse for 3 years in total. Probably would not have had another child but we divorced and I met and had a child with current DH. Consultant was not prepared to do a c section as no medical reason but did induce early and gad a natural birth with no stitches.

As regards the 2 Fenton's and plastic surgery to remove build up of scar tissue please keep going back and going back until you are satisfied.