This may be a little outing but oh well.
My daughters father and I split up when she was a baby. Since then he basically took a year out from parenting and didn't want to see her (ignoring my texts every week asking him if he wanted to see her then proceeding to tell everyone who'd listen that I'd stopped him seeing her), he reappeared when she was 2 so she doesn't remember this.
Ever since then it has been a constant battle to get him to see her consistently without making excuses to let her down or actually be responsible when he has her. Recently he's decided he wants to have her every Friday evening until Saturday afternoon. That's fine, so I think I'm doing the best for her by facilitating contact. However, she doesn't brush her teeth while she's there, her hair isn't brushed, they eat takeaway or junk for every meal, she never has a coat put on, he thinks it's funny when she's rude/misbehaves and there are no rules. Not only that he has put her in some dangerous situations, he allowed her to fall in a canal for one!! She's too young for this to be acceptable! He allowed her to swim in the sea when it was freezing. She's constantly coming back with another bruise or cut. Now I understand that kids hurt themselves, these things happen but this is another level, those are only a couple of examples and there's been worse. He's now let her down 2 weeks in a row after promising her she'd see lots of him and do fun things over the holidays. She's been in tears over it and I don't see why she should be put through this anymore!! We have no legal agreement, never been to court and he pays a pittance in maintenance (this wouldn't matter if he took responsibility!) wwyd in this situation? The last time I brought this up with him it was a barrage of insults and criticising my oh for his parenting (oh is an excellent father by all means)