Bullying, why don't you go to the parents?

[Trustmeimadoggroomer17]

My daughter is only two but something that worries me is bullying. I've read stuff about bullying that starts at the age of four??

Upon reading about this alot of posters and irl say never go to the parents of the bully always go to the school.

I just want to know why, wouldn't it be more effective to go straight to the parents of the bully to sort it out??

Because the parents often will not believe their child has done what you say

Because if sanctions are needed, school cannot apply them if the bullying isn't reported

Basically it gets you nowhere

If bullying occurs at school only the school can monitor and stop the behaviour.
Is there a reason this is worrying you now when your child is only 2?

I did. Risky strategy but it worked.

You do sound rather concerned about bullying. Most kids aren't bullied. Also don't confuse six of one half a dozen of the other fallings out with bullying.

Some darlings can never do wrong
Some never ever are told NO
Some parents think bullying is some sort of amusing competition and encourage their darlings to be TOP DOG
Some parents are also bullies

School is neutral

I'm just a worrier in general, she goes to nursery now and is absaloutly fine. I'm just a massive worry wart. Haha

karela1 what happened if you don't mind me asking?

Some parents are mental seriously!

My son is 5 and certainly isn't a bully, (he really isn't) but he did have a bit of a personality clash with another boy this year. I approached the other parent as mine was probably instigating more than the other, we discussed, spoke to both our children and now they're fine. I wouldn't have done this if I hadn't known she was relatively sane already, just not worth it!

From experience, because they may not want to believe it/may not agree and it may get you nowhere. They might be unpleasant or aggressive. They're biased. School are better placed to monitor or intervene.

Please don't worry about it now, and try not to show her that you are worried.

From experience - they don't believe their child would do it.

Ds has been bullied for over a year, he's been name called, chased, threatened, they've harassed him in his own garden and assaulted. After the assault I reported to the police, then received a fb message from one mum saying "you know he's a good lad".

I went to the school when I was first aware of it and they said not to approach the parents as they're not nice and will probably kick off.

I discovered (through more experienced school parents) that our school insists on you alerting them to these problems (and only them) when they occur. I knew the other mother very well (I thought), and even though I went along with the school's policy, I felt it was crackers.

Two months down the track I was thanking my stars I had gone through the school.

Turns out everyone puts their own kid on a pedestal, and it turns out the teachers who see our kids interacting with others (for far more hours a day than we do) have good insights.

I can see that parents can quickly find themselves in a texting war, or a school-pick drama nightmare, if left to solve it alone.

Schools are experts in boring kids and parents into submission.

In my case, the 'drama llama' parent on the other side was put off her hysterical accusations and lies for the next 5 years of school, due to the s-l-o-w pedantic bullying policy of the school. Multiple teacher/parent meetings and round-tables, worksheets to fill in, evidence-based approach.