PIL visiting

[unusualcolours]

Hello,

I have posted before about my PIL and how I was having a hard time with their behaviour. They haven't got much better to be honest and are still insisting she is awake for the duration of their visits. (Not that I listen to them).

Has anyone got some good assertive ways I can state that she needs a nap or a feed without me sounding too rude?

Thanks in advance.

I'd inform them not long after they arrive that nap time is at about and baby will need a feed at around so you'll be taking yourself off with baby around then. If they protest then say baby needs it and change the subject.

And make sure DH is fully with you. Mine used to tell his mum to listen to me as I was the mother and knew best. TBH if you're even worrying about this then it sounds as though you have a DH problem...

DH and I also used to laugh during MIL's protests and say things like "surely you had a routine for your children when they were little?" and "you're welcome to stay longer and listen to him scream this evening when he's overtired but frankly I wouldn't wish that on anyone!".

The requests demands to keep him awake stopped after a while as it was clear neither of us were going to take any notice.

If you've already explained and they plain don't want to accept it then there is no way you can do this without annoying/upsetting them - they want their own way. For baby's sake they can't have their own way. They're going to be miffed.

It won't kill them.

I'd do it like dropping off at nursery: no faffing, no negotiating, no letting it be a big deal, just "feeding time!"/"Ooh look it's nap time!" announced with a big, bright smile, confidently swoop up dd (prising her out of their grasp if need be) and go without further comment. And ignore any pouting and dummy spitting that ensues.

I know I have a major DP problem. He is very defensive of his parents and says I'm too "sensitive".

When we visited them last the first thing they said when we arrived was "she had better be awake", no hello or anything and then started poking her in the face to try to wake her up, DP said nothing, I was probably a bit rude in the way I snapped "don't do that!".

LOL

Anyone poking my baby in the face for any reason is going to get a much ruder response from me than that!

"She had better be awake...."

Yeah, all bets are off. Why are you worried about being rude to them when they're vigorously being so very rude to you?!

started poking her in the face to try to wake her up, DP said nothing, I was probably a bit rude in the way I snapped "don't do that!".

I think you need to be ruder as she obviously hasn't got the message.

'poke my daughter in the face again and I'll poke your fucking eyes out' might not go down too well, but it might just stop this ridiculous behaviour.