What's the most offensive thing you have ever said to someone else?

[QueenofTwee]

Still thinking, but will let you know!

I didn't think it was offensive, but... I once told a mixed group how I'd be really pissed off if I'd spent an evening flirting with a woman only to discover she was a lesbian. For some reason quite a few of the women in the room were horribly offended by this!!

surely someone can top that??

Was with a group of mates, in a pub. A couple of ladies arrive, a bit mutton dressed up as lamb but they'd got all done up though. One looked like she was doing the "I'm back on the market after my ex" kind of thing. As they past us, I (rather louder than was polite) went "JESUS!" and ducked dramatically out of their way.

They both looked completely crest fallen. . Sorry ladies.

I am normally a size 10-12 in clothes. When I was pregnant I needed to get a pair of trousers for a special occassion, they had to be a size 14. I was talking about this at work with the girls and I said in a very horrified voice ' Oh my god I had to buy a size 14 pair of trousers, thats huge!' then 2 of the girls said 'Im a size 14' Then another said 'Im a 16'
I just wanted the ground to swallow me up!

Im not shallow btw. I was just hormonal at the time.

Mine is still the winner.

At a wedding someone told me X (an old work colleague) was pregnant. I looked around and saw X and ran up to congratulate her saying "I hear you're pregnant". She said "do I look it?" and looking at her bulging tummy I replied gushingly "YES!!". She informed me she wasn't and I suddenly rememered there were 2 X's. I still cringe when I think about it

is it in yet?

ooh, I dont know hoppy daddy, I reckon RLYL beats yours!

Years ago, my dp was in the countryside with an artist he was working with at the time. She was walking ahead of him through a damp, grassy field. (I should add, cos it's relevant, that the artist in question was very overweight.) Anyway, my dp happened to look down at her legs and was fascinated by the odd texture and colour of the wellies she was wearing. So he said,
"Like your wellies"
She said,
'I'm not wearing any wellies."

Needless to say she was barefoot.

AWMIGOD

PMSL!

Message withdrawn

dumb moment...whats PMSL?

Was chatting to a friend at work and he mentioned he had heard our boss had bought a speedo that lunchtime...I cried out, Oh, god, the mental picture, I've gone blind....

And then hid my face in the fur of his guide dog

(PMSL - pissed myself laughing)

Chirpygirl, that's made me feel better about mine

pmsl at these

I once told one of DH's mates that he was such a waste of space his mother made a huge mistake in not drowning him at birth.

I then took his full pint of beer out of hisd hand and poured it over his head in front of the entire pub.

(I was anew mum and he'd insulted me and my newborn DS1 so deserved it)

Erm i did tell xp's ex wife that if she hadn't been such a slut and been shagging around that she wouldn't have to keep moaning her fat ass off about everything to xp cos she'd still be with him.

Okay, feeling better about mine, but not that much better!
The worst thing was he giggled and later told me he wasn't at all offended as it meant I didn't really notice his blindness (which I don't)and I had treated him normally, but everyone else in the room went dead silent and told everyone in my office what I had said.....and I was sent for diversity training....

And RLYL, I have done the 'so, when's it due?' thing far too many times to remember!