Do you know any great comebacks?

[NannyRed]

I'm going to a family wedding this weekend, obviously all the family will be there including one or two that haven't spoken to me in about 3 years (I'm second wife to a widower and even though he deceased wife said she wanted him to be happy and find a new love I'm obviously still the 'black sheep' for whatever reasons.

I know one of the people that usually just ignores me will try a sly "hello, your hair /dress/etc looks nice" because she is underhand and damn right nasty but never wants to be seen as the nasty one, always loves to play the victim (it's my adult stepdaughter,but still thinks I 'stole' her daddy away.

I'm just wondering if anyone knows a really good comeback should any of the haters try chatting. I really don't want to be polite and make small talk. I'm much happier to continue ignoring them. I was thinking of something along the lines of " you haven't spoke for three years, do you really think I give a damn what you think about my hair/dress" But if you know of a better comeback please share them here.

Fuck off usually works for me 😂

Could you try saying: "Sorry, do I know you?"

I would just take this remark at face value, smile and move on. I'm a great believer in just letting things go........

The worst one I ever heard was from a chef at a pub I used to waitress at:

If you're waiting for my comeback you'll have to ask your mum

Sorry, not helpful.

I would just give a withering look.

Smile say thank you/you too/my thoughts exactly and walk away

Smile say thank you/you too/my thoughts exactly and walk away

"Go talk to someone who cares".

Or "Hmmm.... Really.... Well... Excuse me.." while staring over their head and then tootle off to find someone interesting to talk to. Be totally uninterested and noncommital - and bored.

Or a Phoebe Buffey-esque "we could make pointless small talk but i don't want to".

Smile, crinkle your eyes slightly and say hmmm and walk away.

Anecdoche I like your style. If I ask" are you friends of the bride or groom" I guess that's quite cutting. Some great ideas here, thank you ladies.

I find that taking a fake or back handed compliment as if it's genuine and over react like I got a huge boost from their compliment works a charm. It pisses them off no end. To onlookers, it looks like two family members being nice to each other.

When dealing with an underhand compliment a good tactic is to ask the person to repeat what they said. Generally more folk listen to it the second time around, so if it's a dig, they are loath to repeat it in front of an audience.

if it's an insult I usually say 'oh I'd be insulted if I gave a damn about your opinion. Good try though!'

Polite put-down : "So sorry, can you remind me of your name?"
Rude put-down: "You're mistaking me for someone who gives a shit."
Angry put-down: "Don't you dare speak to me."
Take your pick.