Child abuse

[anonymousaspous]

I'm a 33 year old woman. Years ago when I was 13 I was abused my 3 younger boys, they basically took me behind the back of a youth club, pulled my trousers, forced me to the ground and had sex with me, despite my protests to stop. Afterward I remember feeling highly ashamed and violated where I was taken to my friends house, where she told her mum and her mum called the police. I was taken to a safe house where swabs were taken and I had to take the morning after pill at home. It gives me chills just remembering it. I was 13 at the time and never received any counselling, my family pretty much dusted it under the carpet. At 33 years old AIBU In thinking I need counselling of some sort? My heads pretty much screwed but I've tried to put on a brave face.

Older boys* one was 14 and the other two 15 I think.

You poor thing, how horrible for you. Did these boys get questioned by the police? I hope they got their comeuppance. Counselling sounds like a positive move under these circumstances.

Yes you need support to move on from this, ask your GP for a referral to counseling or contact your local Rape and Sexual Assault Unit

They did at the time, but the case got dropped due to insufficient evidence. I had to face these boys on a daily basis at school, constantly scared turning every corridor. I still don't feel like I ever dealt with it properly, and if you knew my history you'd agree. I'm just scared how to broach it after so long.

I am so so sorry. What a horrible and destructive experience. Of course you should get Counselling. What makes it worse is that it was dismissed by your family and the police. I can imagine that it would be hard to trust after that. Get some Counselling - there is really nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Counselling - I was abused by my step dad nearly 30 years ago and i have only just finished counselling which I started in 2007. It wasnt a straight ten years but every time I had a relapse I could book my self into seeing someone.
Good luck x

Counselling might help but also contact the police again. If the took swabs they'll have dna surely so may be able to reinvestigate X

Op, I'm so sorry that happened to you and that nothing was done. for you xxx

I'm sorry this happened to you. I was sexually abused at about the same age by my sisters friends grandad. He was charged but I still had to walk past his house every day for school.
I spent every day since carefully dressing down to avoid male attention and believing I was shit and it was my fault. I had two nervous breakdowns. After the second one in 2011, my GP offered person-centred-counselling and AD's and it literally changed my life.
I cannot recommend counselling enough to help you make sense of what happened.
You have been amazing to put on a brave face for all these years, especially as your family brushed it under the carpet. Its you who was left with the nightmares, the memories you try to block and the feelings deep down.
Ask for help, its never too late.
best wishes OP

Thankyou so much, just the thought of sitting down with someone and actually discussing it fills me with dread. I have imagined those conversations over and over but only ever in my head, with myself. I've got blind drunk and rang the samaritans a couple of times, and broke down, so I know I need to deal with it somehow.
But after all these years I am scared I may start crying and never stop!
I appreciate all your responses though.