Blown off by friend

[DeleteOrDecay]

Last week a friend of mind and dp's who we haven't seen for a while asked what we were doing Friday night (yesterday). We said we were free and invited them round.

Friday rolls around and I send a message to confirm they were still coming. This friend struggles with mental illness and has had a particularly rough 12months or so. They reply saying they are really sorry but they don't feel well enough to come round, that's fine I let them know that if there's anything we can do to help to let us know and that we can arrange another time.

This morning I log into Facebook (I know I know) to see that this friend was tagged in a photo last night having a great time with some other friends of theirs in a pub and now I'm feeling a bit crap that we were obviously blown off for a better offer and that this friend lied about it.

I hate confrontation and don't really know what to do about it, if anything. Dp has known this friend longer than I have and said to just let them crack on with it.

I feel a little hurt though and I don't know whether to ask the friend what's going on or to just leave it and not try to arrange anything with this fiend in future.

It is so tempting to send a screenshot of the post isn't it. I would feel hurt as well.

I would have messaged saying glad you are feeling better. . .
Slight sarcasm intended. . .

Thanks for the replies. The friend is a man, sorry I didn't make that clear. Not that it matters anyway.

It just sucks because I suffer from depression myself and I'm having a bit of a bad time with it at the moment and this has made me feel worse.

I felt brave and commented on the photo. Just something innocuous so they know I know. Will see what they say if anything.

I know the advice will be to ignore it, be the bigger person, etc, but I would struggle not to comment on the post, too. A snarky "Wow, looks like you had a great night with your friends." perhaps.

I thought you meant somebody had given you a bj, oral sex
You mean blown out.

This isn't very nice I'd call them out on it, mh issues or not you don't do that to friends.

I think you did the right thing by commenting

I've been 'that friend'. I had arranged to meet a friend and had a massive panic attack at the last minute and made a pathetic excuse embarrassed and bailed. One of my other friends came round and got me through the panic attack and got me out of the house. My friend who I cancelled on was hurt but made it all about how I had let her down, when I really needed her support but was to embarrassed to ask for it.

Thanks for the insight stepping I can relate. Although I don't think that was the case on this occasion with this friend as the friends he was with live over an hour on the train away and they never go to see him, he always goes there.

It's more the lying to be honest, and using his MH as an alibi. I'd have rather he said he made other plans and can we reschedule.

Maybe take this as a sign you need to stop worrying about him so much from now on though. .