Next doors DD

[RubaDubMum89]

I'm at a loss here, I don't know if I should say something or not.

Next door have a DD between 10-12 (I can't tell anymore how old kids are, they all look much older than I did at that age/grow up so quickly these days). Anyways, ND DD likes to play in the garden, has a trampoline etc (fantastic kids playing out not sat in front of the telly, no problems with that), but, and it's a big but, she often shouts and screams (not in malice, just excitement I think) and her mum never asks her to keep the noise down.

Prior to my DD this never bothered me, in fact, it barely registered on my radar. Now though... ND DD often wakes DD up (and she sleeps on the opposite side of the house to where ND DD is playing) and when DD is woken up as opposed to waking up naturally she is heart broken, really screams and crys and takes ages (sometimes 2 hours) to go back down.

Would I be totally out of line to ask next door to tell their DD to knock the screaming/shouting on the head after 7.30pm? This is an hour after DD usually goes down. I've no issue to laughing, talking, etc or to a general level of noise, it's just really loud screaming and shouting (usually over the fence to someone she knows) that's the problem.

What's your relationship like with ND?

I think it would be ok to breezily say that the babyis waking up with the screeching and see what the ndn does her playing is fine but the screeching isn''t

We're OK with them I suppose, we don't really speak/see them much, but when we do it's always pleasant. We take parcels in for each other and when DD was born the lady made an effort to come have a look and coo over her.

I just feel so awkward! As we rarely see them it'd probably require me to go knock on the door and have a word. I've thought about popping my head over the fence and talking directly to the DD when it's happening, but then I thought that's probably a step too far and the mum may be angry etc so I chickened out!

have you read this thread... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/what_would_you_do/968546-Neighbour-complaining-about-my-children-39-s-noise-playing-in

I'm of the opinion that you are going to need the neighbours on side when it is your own DD making a noise ...

What time is this going on until? If it's during the day it's just one of those things, if it's 9pm onwards at night then I'd say something.

And you're right not to speak to the child directly, best to approach the mum or dad.

Can they hear your daughter when she really screams and cries? It might be that they have concerns about your daughter's noise especially if it goes on for 2 hours.
How about you approach it by apologising for any crying they can hear and then work into the conversation the reason she is waking up.

I think I'm just going to have to take this on the chin and deal with it. She's usually out until 8/9ish. Which by noise regulations and for someone without a grumpy baby is not at all unreasonable.

PPs right though, I'm sure NDs aren't too happy when DD is screaming in the early hours with teething pains. It doesn't help either that DD could be woken up by the sound of a mouse farting three streets away!

I type this as my neighbour is busy building a fence faffing around and making loads of fucking noise without actually doing anything constructive but I honestly think you're right. If it's going on until a ridiculous time or starting stupidly early in the morning then you should say something, but a kid playing in the garden, even noisily, at a reasonable time isn't really something you can change. And I say that as the mum of 3 babies who were terrible, terrible sleepers!

Have you tried white noise in your DD's room? I have a fan all year round (just a small tower one, & not generally pointing at me ) & it does a wonderful job of smoothing out intrusive noises such as dogs barking & people shouting & even internal ones like the loo flushing.

(Only drawback is that it makes me a bit hyper-sensitive when sleeping without one elsewhere)

Could you chat over the garden with dc in her pj's and tell the dd it's bedtime for her now if she could keep the shouting down a bit it would be great!!?? Not like you have told her off. . . Say when she is older she can play with her etc - butter her up of necessary!!

This sort of thing, but mine was about £12 from B&M

It is also extra useful in hot weather of course 😊

I might try having DD in the garden in her pj's and rather loudly casually announce that it's bedtime for her whilst the family are in their garden... And just hope for the best. As for the fan, Im actually going to do that... I can justify it seeing as our top floors like a sauna. If I get one, DD may actually be able to sleep in a vest, instead of just her nappy. Maybe I can reduce some of the devastation from pooey accidents! (DD loves to have a midnight poo and not tell anyone about it, thus rolling about in it all night - how nice! Also means that even though she sleeps through just about, I need to set alarms through the night to look in and see if she's babbed or not.

Do you generally keep her window open at night because of the heat? Might be worth keeping it closed when she goes to bed, & opening it later when she's well asleep.

(In a hot spell it's best to keep windows closed during the day anyway, just opening them overnight. I've become quite obsessive about doing this & it really does keep the house cooler - along with several strategically placed tall tower fans )

Counter-intuitively, I found that mine slept better when there was some background noise to drown out any sudden loud noises. I used classic FM outside the bedroom door. It might be worth a try.

I used to do that too, but sound levels aren't always consistent - a sudden bit of shrill opera, or cymbals, can have an undesirable effect

I used to play classical FM to her as a tiny baby, for a little while I bought into the whole classic music makes them smart thing. Turns out it just upsets her. Reggae on the other hand brings the smiles out

Reggae

DS2 (who is very old now) used to have a Fisher Price cassette player attached to his cot, & we had a lovely James Galway flute tape which always sent him off. (We had used it for DS1 too; they were both so conditioned that if we put it on in the car they would automatically go to sleep.)

They're 24 & 29 now. I must see if it still works!