Birthday Party

[user1499979813]

Hi, my 4 year old Autistic Son went to his first nursery friends birthday party on Sunday. It was at a soft play area that we had never been to. After a while they were called into party room for food, however my Son did not understand so was last in the room, took me 3 attempts to get him in. Unfortunately the party food had been distributed and put out the way. My Son was left to sit in front of an empty plate while watching his friends eat chocolate and crisps. My Son who loves balloons held on to a plain red rubber balloon for dear life. Later when it was just me and my Son in the room with the hostess and her husband I went to leave and was told my Son could not have the balloon. I tried to wrestle it out of his hands but I failed and made him upset. I left with him still holding it, much to the visible disgust of the so called hosts. I am so angry, hurt and embarrassed at the whole thing. What should I have done ?

You should have got him some food or told the host that he missed out on it. Have you not met the parents before? Would they have known beforehand that your son is autistic? Although at 4 years old no child should be left without food on their plate autistic or not!!!

Not every party will be like this and I'm so sorry that this was a bad experience for you. Learn from it though. Be more assertive next time and maybe take a packet of balloons with you so you can blow one up for him if necessary.

The other parents sound awful. They should have made sure everyone got plenty of snacks, and they should have known better than to try to take a balloon away from an overexcited 4-year-old.

Also, what your son did was perfectly normal behaviour for a NT child, as well as for a child with autism.

I think that if I were you, I might make sure at the beginning of a party to mention the autism to whoever is organising, just so they can keep an eye out for your son.

Your host was rude and inconsiderate. That is not normal behaviour at all. I would have been mortified if one of my guests found himself without food and would have quickly redistributed or found some other food. And what sort of person asks a small child to give a balloon back?

I would have approached the host about the food and would have asked them to elaborate about the balloon.

FWW my children are neurotypical and are a nightmare to move from the soft play part to the food part of a party. I think a bit of a delay in herding children is to be expected at that age. What happened to your son's share of the food? Was it given to others? Or did the host pay for food for 15 but only food for 14 was given iyswim?

Sorry you had this experience. You definitely did nothing wrong. Some people are mean and have no manners

Lots of children that age will refuse to come off the soft play for food or not want to let go of a balloon - autism or no autism.

Sorry you had this experience. They were rubbish hosts. But if something like this happens again you need to be more assertive and ask for food on his behalf.

Hi, thanks for all your supportive advice. I am annoyed with myself for not being more assertive at the party, I did look for the food but there was none visible. The hosts would have paid for all the children's food per head, but due to my Son not being in the room and sitting down, they obviously just never put his share out. I did not know the hosts, and they just sat in the party room, never moved from where they sat the entire time and never even spoke to the parents. It was the granny that seemed to be doing the main things like seeing to the Birthday boys cake etc. I will know better next time, even if I take snacks and balloons with me.
Thanks everyone x

Honestly? They sound like awful awful hosts. Really rude

Awful hosts