Does your mum contact you??

[Johnskymberlina]

Hi all,

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section. I was trying to find a families bit?? Well anyway the title kind of says it all really. I thought my mum and I had a close relationship but something really hit home for me yesterday. Hubby was working a day shift 6am-6pm and I know my mum and sister go out and have manicures and shopping etc... my mum had previously asked me what we would like from my auntie as a gift and I have thought of something and just gave her a quick txt, she replied and said that she would pass it on. Then about an hour later she txt me again and I felt really excited to read the text, I was hoping it was going to be a 'do you fancy shopping/lunch or something' but it was just the same txt that she probably didn't think she had sent before. I feel gutted about it but don't really know why??? I last spoke to her on Thursday,
I always ring her. Looking at my phone history I can't see a last time she rang me. Anyone else have this?? I know she's busy with washing and stuff at weekends and on a Friday they have a take away so don't really like to disrupt that with a phone call. I have epilepsy and hubby says ring your mum if anything happens before me as she can get to you quicker and I tell him I will but I don't know if I actually would??

Am I looking to much into this?? Because I'm pregnant and hormonal??

Thanks
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had the same problem when I was pregnant. I decided not to get in touch first and didn't speak for a week! I think the best thing to do is just explain you are feeling a bit left out and are feeling a little bit lonely. It's completely normal and she probably just hasn't realised she's doing it! hope that helps

Thanks for your reply, no this has gone on for longer than the pregnancy. It's not just since I've been pregnant or anything. I would imagine that it would take perhaps a week for her to contact me. If I didn't pick up though she probably wouldn't try again. If my mum and dad go away they don't ever ring me, they txt to say they got there safe etc. I know for a fact though that she rings my sister twice a day (fair enough she has anxiety and stuff) and I ring my sister to ask her how they are, what they've been up to etc. Just feeling a bit fed up really I suppose and probably jealous which isn't a good thing and that leads to guilt!!!! xxxxxxxxx

Feels stupid to type that I have to ring my sister to find out what my parents are doing on holiday ffs!!!

i would feel fed up too. definitely try and have a chat with them about it and hopefully that will make a difference. or ask your sister to say something. it's normal to feel a bit jealous in that situation!

I have the same problem. I was wondering about posting too.
I did have the conversation a few months ago and dm did ring me a week later but thats the only time
Mine wont contact me because they are thinking about me and i might be busy. It is a busy household, 3dc, so sometimes it isnt the right time but thats ok , im laid back and dont take offense, however dm does if i ask to ring her back in half an hour.
When i do ring i have to be careful to avoid the tv programmes.
Last week i genuinely was over pre occupied and forgot the sunday phone call. First time in ages. Cue a plaintive text from df asking if everyone is ok.
Sorry op, no help whatsoever just sympathy. I have no idea why they are so adverse to ringing.

It's strange isn't it? I couldn't imagine being like that with my own children though?? Could you? My mums classic line is she 'needs the toilet desperately' - that's kind of when I know she's going to cut me off. There's no point in talking to my sister as she loves having my mum 'all to herself' - she wouldn't think twice about me either when they go for manicures and to get their hair done etc

You know what's really funny though - if me and hubby go out to the cinema/for a meal or just generally do something we get asked why we don't invite them!!!!!!

The thing that is really grinding my gears though is the fact that they better not all of a sudden start taking an interest when my baby is born. My sister asked me if I would leave the baby to stay over under 1, I said it would depend how I felt etc but provisionally I said no basically and she cried and said how she's scared she's not going to be an auntie??? Wtf???

I just wonder why they don't ask me that's all, i would just like to know the reason why but they will probably just say we thought you were busy etc knowing that I wouldn't have been as hubby was at work!!

Xxxxxxxxxxx

My parents were incredibly interested when i had young babies, now dc are 12&13 the interest has died down a lot. I dont know if its to do with age, late 70s , or just exaggeratign how they always have been.

Db is still around a lot but he doesnt have dp or dc so has more time to devite to them. They do seem to like the attention all on them unless babies are around and even then i think it was more a baby to show off and having a pram to push.
I do think the refusal to phone is a way to manipulate me to make sure i think about them iyswim. Why they cant just trust i wouldnt forget about them i dont know!

It's funny as I kinda think that the novelty will wear off as baby get older!!! It's a shame isn't it?? Maybe they do (my mum included) want to feel that we think about them but then it works both ways doesn't it??

Xxxxxxxxx

I have a similar thing with my mum. If I don't contact her it would be literally months before she'd get in touch. If I call her I have to have a reason (she answers with 'oh hi, err what's up?') I dont thing I always call with a problem to set this situation up but now I only really call her if I'm desperate and can't get a childminder or friend to have my kids when I need to work she still only says yes 50% of the time.

I haven't been invited over for dinner anytime in last couple of years. My sister goes over once a week. My other half has told her what he thinks of all this (there's a lot more to it) in no uncertain terms so I can't see it getting better as I can only go and see them on my own.

Luckily I have amazing in laws who treat me as their own which in very grateful for

Posted too soon.

It's hard though. I miss having a proper relationship with her. I don't really have a mum these days.