So this is a two level issue,bear with me!!! LONG POST AHEAD!!
we moved here about 6 months ago and find all our neighbours very welcoming and friendly. We are very happy. However our immediate neighbours are around our parents age and I think seem to be becoming very attached to us as we are the same age as their kids who have all left home, they mean well. However I am finding them increasingly intrusive so I cannot sit out in the garden or go in/out without being disturbed and it's not just a "hello" it's lengthy chats at the sacrifice of other things like my toddler crying for his dinner etc, if I come home from work early and have a nap they are knocking because I shut the curtains and they were "worried" and I am expecting my second child in a few weeks which means every time I leave the house unexpectedly or we go out for the day, they are immediately round knocking when we are back because they were so so so "worried" I'd gone into labour (I mean it's nothing to 'worry' about anyway????!!) but it also bothers me they clearly are watching my every move. They are very intrusive and ask a lot of personal questions I don't like to answer, she's demanded my mobile number (she was stood with a pen and paper I couldn't refuse) and if they manage to wrestle their way into the house if I'm off guard they are so nosy she reads my calendar and to do list and even my notes to my husband. They're hugely overbearing but in a sickly way they keep on about how wonderful we are and what a wonderful mother/wife I am and how wonderful we've made the house look, and actually i feel very hostile like it's none of their business anyway as I never invited their opinion on our house or how they can judge me when they don't know me. We've usually been very close with all our neighbours in fact we cried when we moved and still see our ex neighbours regularly so I'm not socially awkward. I just find them so uncomfortable and over bearing it's so stressful I usually cry when they leave. Usually I'd get by with polite avoidance and a bit of bluntness but there are 2 major issues I can't seem to get a lid on!!
1)The biggest issue I'm having by far is they are very affectionate to my 3yo and very interested in him and it makes me really uncomfortable. They'll deliberately catch me when I've got him or look over the fence chatting when we are trying to play. They keep on about how "lovely" he is- it's creepy. So when they do catch us out and about they keep picking him up, kissing and cuddling him which I find really odd as we barely know them (friends/family wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable) furthermore they've started just walking off with him into their house without asking to get treats or the other day they came over and "invited" themselves upstairs to go see his new painted bedroom, being a confident 3yo he obliged and took the woman to go see his room, then she told him to go show her husband too, so he took his turn, I felt really uncomfortable at an adult male I don't know being out of sight with my toddler in his bedroom, never mind the fact that they had a good old nose upstairs without my permission and have seen our nursery etc which was kind of personal. But she was halfway up the stairs and I was blocked by her husband wittering on before I could register and speak up. I don't like him being out of my sight with people I barely know and who make me so on guard. He used to go off with my ex neighbours to play with their watering cans and I never got that feeling, we've known them
For over 6 years and trust them greatly they are lovely people. But this is waaaay different. It makes me really uncomfortable I just want to scream at them to leave my son alone but I am also a people pleaser and do not wish to offend....am I over reacting? How do I address this without causing offence??? As it's happened a couple of times have I 'missed the boat' on telling them I'm not happy? I don't want to fall out with them as I imagine that would make life very hard, or should I say they would?
2) furthermore- how do I stop them calling round the second the new baby is born and doing the same again? The last thing I want when I'm leaking all over and feel like death is nosy overbearing over familiar visitors- also I desperately want to get the hang of BF this time and the last thing I need is nosy overbearing guests that won't leave when I want to feed, and I don't feel I can just buggar off upstairs to feed if they won't leave and leave them downstairs as my toddler will be here and I don't feel comfortable with that either!!!!! Any advice? I fear not answering the door isn't enough as they'll knock and knock or simply catch me when I have to go out.
All this is the shortened version there have been a lot more behaviours that are just so overbearing and make me so uncomfortable- e.g. At the weekend he managed to spot me from his garden in our far bedroom doing some diy, I was in my pjs as none of my "diy clothes" fit so was really inappropriately dressed and I was shocked he was calling up I don't even know how he spotted me to be honest and I'd go as far to say I was very blunt I said "I can't talk I need to finish the painting before it dries" he still kept calling up and I had to tell him repeatedly the same thing about 5 times, then he said "Is it easier if I pop round quickly rather than shout up" I literally screamed NO at him and had to insist I'd go round when I was done to see what he wanted. That's just another example the list goes on- that said they are very kind people and are always bringing sweets for the kids and biscuits etc but ifnim honest that just adds to the over bearing-ness and uncomfortableness! I feel like a prisoner in my own home and I just want to keep my child away from them!
Am I over reacting? Is it my hormones? How do you tell them to back off without offending? What do I do when hubby is back at work and can't fend them off at the door for me?most of all- How do I get them to leave my toddler alone???