Military Children and school

[ruru1981]

Do you think it is best to move to camp with your husband. Unless their is an expercise or war then he would be home after work every night. You would sell your current home or rent it out. You wouldn't see your family often. The kids would move school every 2 years ( and home) and you would have to start again meeting new people. However you would save on the mortgage and have more money.

Or

Live approx 5 hours away. Be alone with the kids mon to fri or again weeks or months at a time. You would have your family around. Kids would be at the same school and would keep their friends. Money would be tight as lots of travel costs and 2 food bills per week.

I've done one for 11 years. Too late to change it now.

I have a relative who did option A in that list but for a different service, there is something about your post that makes me think you regret your choice (I won't say what I think you've done!).

Army child.

We did option A. Didn't bother me at the time it was just normal life. My DM tells me that she hated it.

Cots. Have a given it away? Please tell me which you think I wish I had chosen xx

Raf brat whose parents chose option a.

There were advantages - however seeing my dad every night didn't happen as he was often working shifts/sleeping off a shift and also had to work weekends. I did of course get to see more of him than if we lived elsewhere.

We also got to experience a different country.

I really struggled with the moving two years thing emotionally - it felt like I would just find my feet and then we'd be off. My teenage years were very tricky as a direct result of this - I was so angry at moving.

My brother was fine emotionally with the moving but struggled academically - the moves fell at the wrong time for his education including moving country during gcse years and his results reflect this.

I have very little relationship with my extended family. I mean, they're nice enough people but I maybe saw my grandparents and aunts a handful of time growing up. I'm better at keeping touch now but ad they all live close together there's a sense of missing out on a shared history.

I'd do option B. You can always work or study. You and the kids have stability. It's not ideal re dad/DH being away, for sure.l, but you can have your own life. And if the relationship doesn't work, you've somewhere to live and the kids can carry on their school/friends life.

The only reason I say that is because I'm an expat wife with longer rotations and it's hard - two years is not long enough to feel at home anywhere without having a move on your mind.

But my grandparents did option A. There were upsides for them.

We did option A. DH and DD moved with me every 2 years but we met further on in our career so by the time she was 9 I had finished my service.

If I had longer to serve then I would expect that we would have moved to option B when she got to secondary school, buying the 'forever' home at that point with me coming home at weekends - actually scrap that, as we had no particular ties to an area (no requirement for either of us to go 'home') we probably would have settled wherever that posting took us would have been where we settled.

DD is now 12, we've been 'out' for 3 years and her early years haven't affected her, in fact the moves have probably made her more outgoing and quicker to make friends. None of us have any regrets.

Yes, I suspect things would have worked out better for us if we would have been settled for secondary school years.

One thing my mum resents is it is quite difficult to have any sort of career as a raf wife. This was mainly pre Internet so not sure if is still the case, but whilst we were 'in' pretty much the only jobs done by the wives of those in the raf were raf-related - mostly working in the messes or naafi or maybe playgroups.

My parents are divorced now though so it may be thats colouring her thinking - but she feels her sacrifices were huge and she gave up pretty much everything for dads career and was left with nowt (BTW this isn't strictly true, just giving her perception)