Too early to propose?

[user1496082512]

I'm wanting to propose to my girlfriend, but I fear it's far too early. I am thinking a long engagement till we have some more money and more secure jobs.

Thoughts?

Do it 👍🏻

It's only been 3 months, but it's been the most intense 3 months and I know she is the one. Is it weird that it's only been 3 months though?

Nah. Do it.

I just might do that! Life is for taking risks after all! :)

100%

I think it depends how you think she'll take it. Three months is very short and it could freak her out.

There's no harm in waiting, but there could be harm if you propose too soon.

That's what I'm thinking. She is very intense, but I think she also lets her head rule her heart. She is very practical and straightforward thinking and I fear that that will cause some problems. We are supposed to be a moving in towards the end of the year but I can se where putting the brakes on that also. Perhaps I'll wait :)

Don't do it until you have lived together. I've had a very intense loving relationship before where we were crazy about each other. Moved in together 6 months later and everything went tits up. The spark just totally died between us which I never thought would happen.
Save up to live together first, and then after 3 months of doing that you'll both have a clear idea of whether you're definitely the one for each other. Propose then if it's all still going well

Thanks for the advice. I think that's a good idea. She is a workaholic and very independent, so living together will be a massive hurdle for her to overcome, she has told me numerous times. I think I'all hang back on the proposal :)

I agree, she may well not be ready even if she is very happy in the relationship. Then it puts her in a really awkward position. Also, maybe not a formal proposal, just bring up in conversation that you see yourselves being married.

I think it's fine having the "how do you feel about marriage/I could see myself spending the rest of my life with you/blah blah blah" chat, but probably too soon for an actual proposal.

I would recommend you like together, or at least travel together- nothing tests a relationship like a prolonged period of time alone, never mind a missed connection, delayed flight or missing luggage- before getting engaged. If you're only talking about moving in together at the end of the year, which is another six months away, then she might be on a v different page re timescales anyway.

Also weddings are pricey and you might find you have enough on your plate money-wise when moving. Don't be one of these people who get engaged for the sake of it. Unless you're actually going to plan a wedding, a engagement would mean nothing more beyond the outcome of the "chat" I mentioned above (ie an agreement in principle to get married to each other at some stage in the future) with the added bonus of people getting judgey about the speed of it all.

TLDR- spend the ring money on a holiday instead and see if you're still dying about her after two weeks alone

We've had a few conversations about getting married and she seems happy at the idea but she wants to finish her PhD first, so I was thinking an informal proposal for a long engagement for about 2 yrs till she passes. I think living together is a good suggestion. We are moving in together at the end of the year hopefully :)

I think she is a commitment phobe, somim going to delay moving in and proposing. Red flags waving after a few conversations.