Need some outside advice on what to do about my dad this Father's Day..
Bit of background growing up my dad always worked away to provide so never had a major role in bringing myself and my siblings up until my mum passed away when I was 12 and then it seemed like we where all 'stuck with each other'
My dad did try although mad mistakes (quite a few big ones) which resulted in on of my siblings moving out and cutting him out of their lives. I was young at he time so may have not noticed the extent of his mistakes or was naive in forgiving him he was the only parent I had left so let a lot of things go.
Over the years it has been obvious when my dad had a woman in his life his children where always a second thought to be honest it didn't really bother me we all got older moved out and got on with our life's. will give my dad his due if I needed something like help decorating, a lift or even &£20 until payday if he could help he would.
When I was pregnant my dad made a few attempts to come over and visit however constantly cancelled or never turned up got a bit sick of this so told him I wasn't making any more plans with him until he made the effort!
So this year it was my birthday on the 15th and I was due my first baby on the 16th so never made a big deal of my birthday or planned anything, never herd anything for him until two days later saying he was coming to visit, I gave have him a reminder he forgot my birthday he apologised and said he would see me soon.
Fast forward to the day he visits ( one week after my due date still no baby) he turns up without a card or belated birthday wishes my partner asks him out right where my card was as he knew I was pissed off about it
My dad says he's sorry but abit skint at the moment but will sort somthing out when he gets paid. Now my 26 don't expect anything huge a bottle of wine and a card would do me!
Anyways he then goes on to ask what we need for the baby I'm now a week over due so we have everything sorted explained this he says he would give me somthing for her again when he gets paid. Ano he dosnt have a good paying job but at the same time I see on Facebook he's out on the piss every weekend with his current partner so that annoys me!
So after the baby is born (12 days late) we had my partners gran over visiting and my dad shows up holds the baby for two minutes hands her back and leaves without leaving a card for my baby or myself. My partners gran who has always been good to us and adores her new great granddaughter asked what my dad brought the baby said with a red face nothing.. I was so angry not really about myself but that my baby dosnt seem to have made an impact in his life
He has other grandchildren but the only reason they get anything for there birthdays is I will remind him a week before that their birthday is coming up and he will send a card with money in it but he makes no effort to see them except Christmas they don't know who he is!
I don't want to have to explain to my child who this man is who turns up twice a year to visit would rather they had a relationship and she knew her grandad.
My baby is now 3 weeks old and have herd nothing from him since his 'visit'
Last week I lost my rag As I notice again he was out on the piss with his partner and still not sent a card, spent more then 5minutes with the baby or even txt to see how we where, txt him basically saying how annoyed I was he hasn't acknowledged my birthday or the birth or his grandchild and he needs to make an effort! I have seen he's read it and I have herd nothing back!
He's the only parent I have left and although I am grown and have my own life I would still like him to make and effort more for the sake of my daughter than myself, I had a wonderful grandad growing up and most of my happy childhood memories where spent with him, maybe that's where I'm going wrong trying to get my dad to act like my grandad and actually take an interest in the life's of his children and grandchildren.
So here's my dilemma Father's Day is coming up and his birthday a few days after it one part of me thinks he can get what he's given us feck all!! And another part of me feels so bloody guilty about it any advice or insight would be appropriated
(Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading)