Ex is using kids

[Ejkipb]

My ex makes it 100% obvious to everyone who knows us that he only takes interest in our children to get to me, he uses them as a reason for me to speak to him and when he had them overnight for the first time he made me promise I was on my own before he let me speak to them. He is a good dad when he is with the kids ,but he up and leaves for weeks and even months every time I knock him back in regards to 'us'. What do I do as I don't feel this is a good thing to raise my children around ??

My first reaction is to say your should talk to Women's Aid as he is being abusive in trying to control you now even when you are apart and his behaviour of being absent without notice is abuse to his whole family. My concern would be that his controlling behaviour might escalate and already or in the future extend to the kids.

Thankyou for your advice, I have spoken with woman's aid and they have told me the same as what the social services have , if he asks me to see his children I cannot stop him unless he physically harms one of the kids. He has physically hurt me and members of my family in the past but not the children and that is what the social services need to have happened before they will allow me to stop him from seeing them it's ridiculous