My SIL has a heart of gold but we are totally opposite. She's a fine line in passive aggression which she doesn't recognise as such and prone to rants, public or private when she feels that she's been misunderstood or hurt. But rarely comes out with it. There's more than 10 years age gap between us, I've two children that she's lovely with.
I've set out this context as I have to walk a fine line between wanting her to celebrate things the way that makes her happy and not enjoying those things personally. I'm very fond of her, I think she's sometimes intimated by me and I've worked hard to not let that be the case, my brother loves her and as I said, she's a heart of gold. Now we're into baby shower territory which is totally unknown to me!
We've just exchanged messages about the fact she doesn't want any passed on clothes as she already has some and is expecting more at the two baby showers (complex, she's got one organised by friends but there's an alternative being hosted by her family, not her choice). We were asked to save a day by her friends hosting, some gentle questioning of my brother ascertained that it's girls only but I can't take my daughter as it's no kids and I don't need the whole day/weekend booked out. So far so good. But now I don't know what the bloody hell I'm supposed to take as a gift! Clothes? Is she expecting me to buy new things for her baby even though she's said she's got enough? Or larger sizes? Or something for her? I can't ask her directly, I've tried that in the past with wedding things and got nowhere. I don't want to upset her so I need ideas!
WWYD? Clothes? Her? Nappy cake?