WWYD if you saw a child being mistreated?

[TwoDrifters]

I am posting for opinions and advice after the event as I really don't know what, if anything, I should have done but days later, I'm still feeling sick at having witnessed it.

I was walking down my busy local high street behind a couple with a little girl. They were clearly walking fast, perhaps late for something, and the little girl was dawdling slightly - but not to be awkward, I don't think, just in the way that children sometimes do. She was of primary school age (wearing uniform), maybe 7 years old, and was being a little dreamy, head down, looking at the floor.

The woman with her looked back at her, as she was starting to lag behind, and snapped "Come ON!" before wrenching the child's chin up forcefully with her hand to make the girl look up.

The girl stumbled forward a few steps but then continued to look at the ground and walk slowly behind. The woman again looked back, rolled her eyes angrily, took a few paces back to the girl and grabbed her by the hair, the top half of which was pulled back in a sort of "pineapple" style. The woman grabbed this pony tail part and viciously yanked it upwards, snapping the girl's head straight up as she shouted at her to "LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING!"

The poor girl started crying and the man with them, who had walked on ahead, looked back briefly, rolled his eyes, then walked on again.

I have no doubt it was painful, it was so sharply done that I didn't blame her for bursting into tears. She was clearly shocked and stumbled on after the couple, crying, the woman still ranting angrily at her.

What would you have done? What should I have done? I opened my mouth to say "Hey! Don't treat a child that way!" and then froze.

I will be honest and say that I was quite intimidated by the loud brashness of the woman and the look of the man; rightly or wrongly, I judged them as people who would not shy away from swearing and screaming at me to mind my own business.

I was also wary of starting an altercation as I had my 16-month-old with me in his pram and was pushing him right behind them.

But my main reason for shamefully not saying or doing anything was that I was fearful of bringing more abuse down on the poor girl after I'd gone. But is that a good enough reason not to do anything?

I can't forget the poor frightened hurt look on that girl's face as she shuffled on after them.

It's hard to stand up to people like that and I can understand why many people don't say anything. I'm a Social Worker so I tend to try to intervene, not always calmly! But I'm experienced in dealing with aggressive people and it doesn't really phase me. Maybe next time take note of identifying features such as what school uniform and report it to the school with a description of the child and parents. They may know who it is and may have their own concerns. If they can do that in public, what is happening at home?

dddddddddd That's exactly what I thought & it made me feel even worse! That's a good idea about the school uniform, I should have done that.

Hopefully there won't be a next time but I'll bear that in mind for the future. Thank you.

I'd be inclined to contact the school and mention it to them.

My ds witnessed a friends dad being really rough and over the top and swearing at them (they didn't bat an eyelid to it) mine were shocked.

I mentioned it to the head and she knew exactly who I was taking about, told me clearly that there was already outside involvement and she would pass on the information.

I'd be reluctant to mention it to the parents for fear of them turning on me.

Racmactac How would you find out which school the uniform belonged to? I'm regretting not trying to take a subtle picture with my phone.

I don't know actually. There are only 2 primary schools where I am.

I once saw a child being shouted at very forcefully in a shop. I ignored it and then thought no, this isn't right so went back and was going to say "that's an awful way to speak to that child" but they'd gone. I'm sure I'd have had abuse from the mother who was rough as houses so maybe it's just as well. Poor child.

Caroline I hate that the "look" of the people with the child put me off calling them out on their hideous and abusive behaviour.

I don't even like to assume they were her parents as I would hate to think that's how any parent would treat their child.

I saw something similar today, a mother at the zoo screaming and calling her DS (probably about 6yo) a 'fucking little shit'. I've no idea what he's done but he was sobbing and terrified. Luckily, he had some other family there who comforted him, but he still had to leave with her. I wanted to give him a big hug and keep him with his other family/friends.

I still feel incredibly upset about it now.

Yoko it's so incredibly distressing isn't it. I got home and showered my poor son with hugs and kisses.

I think pp is right that whatever is happening in public it's worse behind closed doors.

What would worries me is the fact that the girl was looking at her feet. I might be sensitive about it but it suggests to me there could be some additional needs. My ds is partially sighted and this is something he does and there are a variety of things that cause similar behaviour.

Without going into detail for onvious reasons I reported to the school a child that I felt had some eyesight issue. They were in P6 (so 10 or 11) and had never been to the optician and needed a strong prescription. I heard from the grandparent who somehow felt that this was ok.

OP I did the exact same thing

Totally sympathise! It's really hard to know what to do when you can't identify the family involved.

I witnessed a couple being verbally aggressive towards their child outside my house about a year ago. It also looked like the woman was holding her partner back because she thought he was going to do something physical to the child. I didn't recognise them so had no idea how to even go about reporting the incident. I was alone in the house with my baby son so I could hardly follow them up the street to see which house they went into.

It really disturbed me and I still think about that little boy.

Amethyst it's awful isn't it. I can't bear to think of any child being uncared for and it's so horrid to witness, you feel so uncertain and powerless to help.