Mother in law issues

[momoh]

I have a 4 month old baby and when it comes to weaning him I want to do it my way. I want to make home made food for him and organic and introduce him slowly once he's 6 months old, as this is recommended. My mother in law, on the other hand, is aware of my plans but while I'm away she feeds him cake, other sweet dishes. She even once fed him ice cream and flavoured yogurt. It's really annoying me now as she's not respecting my decisions. I'm starting to not take my little one to her and that's not very nice of me, I know. But I find her annoying now. When I tell her off she laughs it off. Any advice??? Please!!!

Don't leave him with Her? Get your dh to talk to her?

Is your DH there when this happens? What does he say? Its his mum so he should really be the one dealing with it.

Or just a very firm "no we aren't giving the baby that"

Just don't leave the baby alone with her. It's not necessary.

My PILs have and excellent relationship with my DC but they weren't ever left alone with the children until they were about 18 month old.

Is your dh in agreement with you

There is absolutely no way I would leave my child with someone who deliberately went against my requests. At 4 months your dc is too young to be weaned on anything, let alone high sugar junk.

When she laughs it off say firmly: "MIL this means a lot to me, this is how we are weaning the baby. If you continue to deliberately undermine that I won't be able to leave him/ her with you."

She's being a cow.

Simple answer is don't leave baby with her.

Sensible answer is tell her she is being out of order completely ignoring your wishes about your child and that she won't be left alone with baby until she can agree to do things your way. She had her chance to do things her way with her children.

I told dh and he kinda shrugs it off. He said that he likes the faces the baby's making when trying different foods. And he obviously thinks his mum knows better as she's had 3 children and this is my first.
In regards to mother in law, I've told her SO many times yet she continues to do so. She will do it in front of me and laugh it off when I tell her not to. I'm trying to be polite but she's really getting on my nerves. Today she said to the baby when your mum's not here watch what I feed you.

Can you tell her that the advice is different now and for the sake of his health you'd like her to stop.

I know it's so difficult. I remember going spare because my MIL was so concerned about DS1 getting a chill at naptime that she kept putting a hot water bottle in his cot (and various others that escape me now but drove me spare at the time!). It took DH putting his foot down to get her to stop.

Ps. It's downright disrespectful. If you've asked her not to then she ought to respect that as his mother you have the right to make those decisions.

Your DH really isn't helping and is by the sounds of it more or less encouraging her. To get her to stop you need to be united.

@Lostinaseaofbubbles my husband won't actually stand up for it. I don't know why. When we are talking about it he agrees with me but when it comes to standing up, nothing. I feel like I'm making something small into a big deal but for me it is because as a first time mum I want to do things properly and these people are not allowing me.

You need to print out the guidelines. Hand them to her and say 'I have asked you not to do this. Here are the guidelines. You are actively harming DC by doing so. Do you not care about his physical health? Do you want to see him get sick? If you don't care about his physical health, then I cannot trust you to care for him. You have two choices: follow the NHS guidelines or you won't see DC until he's old enough to eat proper food'. Sometimes this is the only way to get people to hear you.

If your DH is a problem, do it to him first.

Momoh- by refusing to take sides in front of her he's actually saying "I don't care" which is tantamount to saying "do what you like"

Either you need to get very shirty and tell her she will not be left out of your sight with your child if she will not respect your parenting choices. Or you need to make DH realise that he needs to stand up for you and he can see the cute faces in a couple of months. Or, just get used to it and try not to let it bother you.

Don't ever let her have her unsupervised. Next time she does it in front of you then simply leave. . Go home. Text her you will visit when she respects you.

Tell your dh to grow a pair and parent his child not be a child to his parent. .