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Marriage problem what should I do?

2 replies

user1495247443 · 20/05/2017 21:11

My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years and have two sons at 3 and a baby at 6 months. Things have been getting really tough at home , I'll explain later and I was almost at breaking point a couple of days ago. I screamed at him to move out and some harsh things like to go die. This is because he has pushed me to the limit.
He's been verbally abusing me and its only recent that I can't stand it anymore. The name calling and swearing, it hurts. Some things said have been like fing idiot , dumb st and a dumba in front of our 3 year old son. Thats only a few things said. My last straw was when he disrespected me in front of our 3 year old son despite me telling him several times to stop with the name calling. He tells me to stop saying stupid things for me to trigger him so I replied its ok to name call then? I even cried infront of him as words can hurt so much to which point he laughed. I wanted to slap or punch him. That's when I screamed for him to move out. Only for him to come back home that night after work. Since then neither of us have spoke to each other except when I was half sleepily opening the door asking him i thought you weren't coming home.

Other things mouting to my breaking point -not helping much with the house work as he works 6 days, he thinks its my job, and I just can't help myself comparing him to other dads and husbands out there. There are just such good dads out there that go online and search what to do with kids and look at toys and so on. Mine doesn't do any of this. He will take us out at day trips but this is after my suggestion.
But ultimately, it is the disrespecting part I just cannot tolerate.
Back to my question , he is a male chauvinist and has such a high ego that he will not apologise to me or he will continue to wait until I speak first to show that he has won. Yes it sounds petty but this is him. There is some good to him in that he supports the family well and really loves our children but I just don't know what to do? should I break the silence or just let it continue. If I break it I am worried that to him its like he's won the battle and he can get away with the name calling. What you guys do? Really appreciate any comments or advice you can give me x

OP posts:
user1490142285 · 20/05/2017 21:17

I'd set a limit: no more abuse (incl but not limited to name-calling) or he will have to leave. And Relate can help, even if you go on your own. If he isn't listening to you who will he listen to?

user1495247443 · 20/05/2017 21:23

Thank you for your reply. i think I have already set myself two limits both broken in the space of a few months. When I demand for him to stop all this nonsense he has already replied and so what. What are you going to do. To which point i demanded he left the house but he decided to come home. he only listens to his father I gusss but I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to him about my marriage problems. He is a male chauvanist.

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