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Taking money and lying

5 replies

Koosh90 · 19/05/2017 10:31

I'll try to make it short. My husband has Autism and has always been bad with money, he has no sense of budgeting or saving at all.
Years ago he started taking money out of my bank account to buy things for himself online-anything from a £5.99 DVD to hundreds of pounds worth of clothes (which he didn't even need as he has plenty). But then he'd lie about it and say he didn't take it (even when the items got delivered, he said it wasn't him 🙄).
Anyway, after he spent £500 on himself one day and left us without food and unable to pay the rent, I ended things. We spent some time apart, and then he came back and promised things would change.
We've had a good year of him asking if he needs extra money (just a few weeks ago he didn't have enough for the trainers he wanted so I bought them for him when he asked) and no money related arguments.
Last week I found out he'd spent £10 on something online with my card without asking.
Today £40 has gone from my account and I can honestly feel it all starting again.
I just don't know what to do.
Just to give an idea of how bad he can get-once he asked if he could buy a new fish tank with my card. It was over £100 and we had bills so I said he could the next month. I ended up in hospital a few days later and when I came home he'd bought the tank. I had to borrow money from my Mum that week.
So....WWYD??

OP posts:
luckylucky24 · 20/05/2017 08:57

I would leave. You gave him a second chance and he has let you down. He has been stealing from you and you have let him. Leaving you short of money to pay the bills is serious.

lionsleepstonight · 21/05/2017 14:57

Leave. Even if you stopped access to your money, he'll probably rack up debt.
And he is stealing if you've not authorised it.

GeekyWombat · 21/05/2017 15:09

Leave. I'm sorry OP. I can't imagine how disappointing it is, but you've seen how bad it can get, why would you continue down this road again?

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Hisnamesblaine · 27/05/2017 15:14

I couldn't live like that. I would have to end the relationship

Idreamofpizza · 03/06/2017 14:50

I couldn't be with someone who would go behind my back like that. If you stay with him will you ever be able to trust him? It sounds harsh but i think you need to walk away now.

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