Words of inspiration for someone who has recently been paralysed -help!

[NotACompleterFinis]

My sister has a relatively new partner - 12 months. I don't really know him that well. About 2 months ago he had an accident at work which has left him paralysed from the waist down - the cause is unclear and it's highly likely he'll never walk again. It's his 40th birthday this year and I'd like to get him a present. I've ditched the jokey t-shirt idea. I thought I would get him one of those men's leather bracelets with an engraved tag on it to put his birth date on. I'd also like to put a couple of inspirational words - but I can't think of anything very inspiring apart from 'Be Fearless'. So WWYSay? Really I just don't know how to inspire someone who has just been dealt such a crappy card. He's really positive all the time. It's amazing.

While I can understand where you are coming from, Op, I would not do this. You say you don't know him very well, this is a very recent happening and the future is still uncertain.
Ask your sister what she thinks he would like for his birthday and go with that.

Is he a jewellery kind of guy? And would a bracelet get in the way/ get caught if pushing himself in a wheelchair? I've no idea but with a thought? I second the pp above, ask your sister and go with that. Or do you know his favourite tipple? A fancy bottle of whiskey or something? Probably better if it doesn't reference the accident, he won't want to be defined by it.

Don't go there. He may well not want or benefit from "inspiration". Just happy birthday etc is fine!

Lots of people are positive in public but it is hard in private to come to terms with this stuff. I also agree that you shouldn't be trying to inspire him, if you find him inspirational, fair enough, but why should he 'be fearless' rather than anyone else. It's very tiresome when you are disabled or terminally ill to have everyone saying 'be positive' 'keep it up' etc.

Just get him something nice, and send a card, I'm sure he wants to be treated as a normal person.

Another one here saying no, don't do it. If someone gave me something with a platitude on it when I was newly paralysed, I'd be really upset and would throw it away. I know you mean well but he's only had two months to come to terms with this awful accident.

really bad idea.

I agree, its really not a good idea. A bottle of his favourite booze, or an Amazon/itunes gift card would be appropriate, especially if you've known him only a year.

IMO, when you've had a life changing injury, you want to pick your own inspiration, and other people trying to do it is really annoying

Another one for don't do it!

He cannot escape the accident and the fact that his life has changed forever. He may not want jewelry as a constant reminder of his permanent disability. He may be angry/grieving for the life he thought he had and not be feeling at all fearless and find nothing inspirational in his situation or a phrase.

As you don't know him well I would talk to your sister for some tips - booze (if he can with medication), music or dvds/Netflix might be better

Don't do it. Too soon and you don't know him well enough

Was it a construction accident? If so, he or your sister could contact the Lighthouse Trust. They may be able to assist with financial support in the short term if they need it. They also assist with training needs to help people get back into the workplace if they can, or at least help them find a way to keep living if they can't work again.

Other industries have similar charities.