School mums

[teabag20048]

My daughter is in year 3. There is generally 6 other mum that stand together in the playground along with me. I was aware of 4 of them having evenings out together, hearing them arrange who was picking up who etc., I have now seen through a social network site that they have all been out together, not inviting me, I can't help feeling a bit crap about it all. My daughter's best friend's mum has always been friends with me since they started school, we have been out with the children, she hasn't mentioned any of this to me, I do feel hurt by it all.

If you all chat together and are equally friendly then that is crap.

But did they know each other before school maybe? Is there any reason why they may think you wouldn't want to go out?

Could you be proactive in arranging something with everybody?

That is a bit crap but surely people can't be that thoughtless. Was it a one- off or do you think there may have been other times?
School mum stuff can be so hard can't it?

4 of them know each other from preschool days. It used to be just me and my daughter's best friend's mum together, she then got friendly with 2 of the others from getting to school early in the morning. There's now 4 whose daughters go to dance class together, most days its just them and me, i have felt more left out since that happened as all they talk about is dancing, I don't have any interest in this so find it hard to join in. Given that there is 6 mums altogether i would of thought one would have asked if I was coming or at least asked me if I would like to!

Don't under estimate a school mum cliche.
I tried for 2 years to become accepted in a similar situation (they'd known each other since nursery and I'd not met them until Reception), sacked it off in the end and made some lovely friends elsewhere.

Oh I know this one.
The one on particular claims to be my 'mate' but is as two faced as they come and goes off for these clandestine nights with women she allegedly doesn't like and I'm not her mate when it comes to being invited...

It's not nice to see stuff like that on social media, but you've said it yourself... they are 6 mum's that you stand in the playground with at drop off/pick up time.

They're not friends. Some of them do not choose to spend time with some members of the group when they don't have to. They're happy to have a chat in the playground but they don't want to take the friendship further for whatever reason.

It's hard to not take it personally, but really try not to.

Could you tell the one your closest to that you really like to go out with them next time?

Agree with a pp- you only see these women in the playground not outside of it so they probably don't see you as a 'friend' just someone in the playground

It's obviously not personal

I know it's hurtful, but they'd probably just talk about dancing all night and you'd be bored silly then as well, but paying for the pleasure!

Why don't you invite them all to something? Take the bull by the horns. Take the initiative.

To be frank, it's normal for friendship groups to splinter off a bit and it's not normal for everyone to attend every event. If they are good friends you can always ask to be included.

It's not normal (or nice!) for a group of seven to 'splinter off' into a group of six, leaving one person out. And if they are good friends the OP shouldn't have to ask to be included: they would be including her in the first place!

Thank you everyone. MargotLovedTom1 your comment yesterday made me smile ☺. Today the one in particular I thought was my friend was fine, without the others there, once they are there I am dropped more or less. Its hard when you assume people are your friends and it has made me wonder what's wrong with me. I felt a lot better about things after reading the comments, its their loss, there's nothing wrong with me, I think there's more wrong with them!!