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Workj dilemma - WWYD?

5 replies

disastrouslee · 03/05/2017 13:50

I am currently working 20 hours per week on not much more than min wage, shift work including a few evenings and every other weekend. I have previously been in senior management, have a lot of skills which are not currently being used and I've been offered a full time job which will enable me to use them, and earn an ok salary. Not brilliant, but ok.

I have a 4yo DD who will be going to school FT in September.

DH has moved out in the last month. He has severe mental health problems and our relationship has deteriorated beyond the point at which we can contemplate staying together - at least for now. This is a whole other saga in itself and I'm only mentioning it so that you understand that I'm a single parent. However we parent very well together and DD spends equal amounts of time with us, although I probably buy 80% + of her clothes, days out etc. Life with DH has been very hard over the past few years. He refused to get help for years, and has only done so in the past few months and is still very ill. Until he left I supported us single handedly for over 5 years. He is now claiming benefits (ESA).

My potential new job has a 1hr commute each way. On the days she stays with me I would have to dump DD either with DH or at breakfast club and DH would need to deal with after school until I get home at 6pm (at the earliest). She goes to bed at 6.45pm so my time with her would consist of a brief rushed hour on school mornings and 45 mins in the evening.

I also have a very elderly dog who has never been left alone for any length of time. Despite his age he's still surprisingly active and needs walking every day, which I would need to do before going to work. On the mornings I have DD she would have to be up, dressed and fed in time to come with me on the dog walk - so we'd need to be out walking at 7.15am. DH could probably come in later on to check on him most days, but DDog will still be alone for hours at a time.

My current job is a 2 min drive / 10 min walk away, at the moment I can pop home to see DDog at lunchtimes and drop DD at school without the need for breakfast club. Despite the fact I'm not using my skills, I love this job and I can genuinely see the opportunity for progression when my personal life allows it.

Today for the first time I looked at the online benefits calculator and was shocked to discover that the benefits I am entitled to would make up my existing wage to that of my new, full time wage. This would be made up of working tax credits and child tax credits. The only time I've ever claimed benefits was 15 years ago, after my then DP had died of cancer, and I was back working within 3 months.

So WWYD? Would you take the new job, which is miles away, with no guarantee that I'll enjoy it, but offers the reasonable salary, or would you stay where you are, in a job you enjoy with possible future progression when I'm ready, and claim the tax credits? I am genuinely torn as to what to do.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 03/05/2017 13:54

Stay

Thefabulousfeminist · 03/05/2017 13:56

I'd stay and claim the tax credits. Because

You like the job
It's close by
You could progress, you just don't want to yet
It sounds like you need some stability, all of you
You can take dd to school
You can pop back for dog
Commuting is shite
2 hours a day is 10 a week so a lot

Thefabulousfeminist · 03/05/2017 13:56

Plus new job is unknown quantity, they could be horrible. Better the devil etc

BabyHamster · 03/05/2017 13:56

I'd stay.

disastrouslee · 03/05/2017 16:59

Thank you all. I'm going to see about applying for the tax credits. I don't need any more stress in my life right now, you're right.

OP posts:
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