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Arguement with my hubby

5 replies

user1467871093 · 02/05/2017 09:30

I don't know where to begin. On Saturday we had friends round to stay. It was a great night but after two much drink I confronted my husband once our visitors where in bed about a text he sent to another female that sometimes he will catch up with at events when he travels abroad for work. You see my husband works abroad a lot and can be away for a day, few days a few weeks which I have got used too. One day I looked at his phone and a name came up that I didn't recognise. I don't know why but I looked at the text. The girl told my husband to stop trying to steal her clients. His reply was I am not trying to steal your clients it's just you I am stalking. The problem was I saw this just under a year ago. I don't think for one minute he was cheating on me but I was annoyed at how flirty this text was. I told myself to not be silly and just forget about. I have no idea why I blurted out! Anyway we argued and he was annoyed at me for not mentioning it earlier and saying god if you thought I was having an affair why did you not say anything then. We have had another child since that text. He said I can phone her up and she will confirm nothing is going on. Apparently she is going out with a millionaire according to him. Today is now Tuesday and he has been frosty since Sunday. I tried to speak to him yesterday morning before he went to work and he said he didn't want to talk about it. I said do you want to talk about it tonight. He replied I am so annoyed with you. I then said to him I didn't think he was having an affair but it annoyed me how flirty the text was that he sent. I said I mean you have never mentioned this girl before. I said if the roles were reversed you would be annoyed if I sent that to a male you knew never mind one you didn't know. I don't know what to do as he is acting like he is so angry with me for not saying anything. However, I am angry at him and feel like I've done nothing wrong apart from not saying anything about this at the time. I would appreciate advice please. At the moment I feel physically sick. I just don't know how to deal with this!

OP posts:
namechange20050 · 02/05/2017 09:36

You are massively overreacting & shouldn't have looked at his phone in the first place. Why on earth didn't you ask him about this at the time? You've been stewing about it for a year?

Eminado · 02/05/2017 09:40

Ummm dont agree with responder above.

Fine you should have mentioned at the time.
But that text is either flirty, or creepy. Neither are good.

Your husband's angry reaction sounds deflective to me Hmm

FrenchMartiniTime · 02/05/2017 09:43

You've not done anything wrong...apart from accuse your DH of having an affair from a text message you saw over a year ago when you were snooping through his phone Hmm

No wonder he is angry at you. You have a massive apology to make!

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user1467871093 · 02/05/2017 09:48

You are right I should have asked him about it at the time but he was away for a few weeks. By the time he came back I told myself not to be silly. Believe it or not I trust my husband. I have no idea why as I said I blurted it out on Saturday - too much alcohol which I don't do very often. I am asking for advice I have made a mistake, surely you have made mistakes aswell? We don't mind looking at each other phones/iPads we have been married for a long time. He has looked at mine I don't think anything of it. Maybe somewhere at the back of mind it has bothered me and I wish now I did say something before but I can't turn the clock back. I am not a bad person. I would some friendly advice.

OP posts:
user1467871093 · 02/05/2017 09:51

With regard to apologising I have numerous times.

OP posts:
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