Destined to be unhappy or just ungrateful

[rambleon123]

Let me try and set the scene.

I had a decent childhood, but as I'm getting older I can kind of see I went through certain things that I am now struggling to understand (i.e.) rejection from my father as I hit puberty, not gaining full acceptance from my mother at times yet at times being treated as a pampered princess (my own words!)

I truly believe your experiences as a child/teen mould you in to the person you are later on in life and have studied psychology about (another example) binge eating being related to anxiety, stress, low self esteem etc.

I'm now married and my DH is the nicest person I have ever truly met. We fell in love, got engaged and now, most of the time, happily married. So why sometimes do I even question if I love him? I mean I think I do, and of course I must do, but sometimes I think is this it? Is this love. I'm not too sure if I'm articulating fully how I feel. Sometimes I ponder, am I truly in love with this man. Or even truly happy with my family, work, or life in general.

We have a lovely home, some short term financial issues, but other than that no major major worries in life. Sometimes I feel like I should leave DH as he deserves someone who is fully 100% completely in love with him. I think I'm just not happy within myself and that's why I feel this way. I'm forever trying to gain everyone's acceptance and have this incessant need to be liked by everyone I come across which I do think stems from the rejection of my father at a young age. But then I also feel inadequate or awkward around my peers. I feel like I cover it well around people but inside I'm dying and feeling embarrassed about saying the wrong thing and beating myself up internally in case I say something wrong.

Sorry for the ramble but I'm just trying to make sense of my thoughts!

Any help/advice to make me think more clearly or stopping feeling so inadequate in life in general?

Thank you in advance!

Have you tried counselling?

Have you considered psychotherapy?

To be honest.. no.

I've never thought there was a label to any of the feelings I had. I just thought it was some harmless negative thoughts every now and again, but I feel now I have more time as my life is getting more settled to simply sit and think about things! I do feel like these thoughts are having a negative impact on my marriage however. Has anyone been through counselling / psychotherapy and what does it involve? Is it simply sitting and talking about your feelings?

Have you considered going to sleep? We rarely get our best insights exhausted.

There will be an answer to this ad you've clearly been thinking about it a great deal, but you're not going to find it right now.

As you're still awake I would consider mediation for the immediate. (If you're a total novice, try this: )

CBT for the short-term; psychotherapy for the medium to long term.

Counselling will help you make sense of your thoughts and feelings. It will enable you to deal with feelings tied to historic stuff and help you clear the way for healthier situations in your life. I went through a similar phase to yourself and I've dealt with it in counselling. My feelings were linked to my childhood and having dealt with them now I can enjoy my marriage whilst moving forward.

Give it a go.

Sometimes I feel the same....... I totally get this post. Have a fabulous fiancee and baby boy........ work is a bit grim.... But I have a feeling of dissatisfaction a lot of the time. Cant put my finger on why I have these feelings but I do!

Yes it's that feeling of dissatisfaction which I don't quite know how to deal with! I also feel like recently I've had these thoughts more and not sure why either. Outwardly I come across as quite a confident and knowledgeable person but I feel like that's just a role I play and always have played whereas internally I'm quite insecure and suffer from low self esteem.
Thanks for the suggestions about counselling - I'm going to take a look but don't know where to start! Would I go through my GP/work/private? I'm not sure how the whole process works so any help would be major appreciated!