Colleagues leaving do.......

[Hisnamesblaine]

I posted afew weeks back regarding a card/gift for a former collegue. Long story short...... used to be very good friend of said colleague bit we drifted apart as I didn't agree with some of her views etc. She got promoted and again through different working patterns etc we seen less and less of each other. I posted previously to ask should I get her a separate little congratulations card from the staff collection as I m genuinely pleased she's moving on and doing well. So........... it's her leaving do next Saturday. Do i go? We are no longer close and I think it would be odd to go as afew people know of our falling out. I just don't want to be subject to gawking etc. I think she wouldn't mind me being there...... I belive it's a meal then a club. Just don't want to appear fake or whatever. Also she has afew senior colleagues that will attend. They aren't to my taste or anyone else's for that matter! The only reason I'm considering it, is because of our past we shared together....... so should I stay or should I go?

Just wrote her a nice card or text saying congratulations and wishing her all the best. No need to go to the meal.

I wouldn't. I'd just send the card and be done with it. I mean, if she no longer works with you, then it's not going to be a night out with current colleagues either, is it, which is what would normally happen at a leaving do.

It would be cheaper to buy a bottle of champagne from Aldi or something or some flowers and just send a card saying well done. A group meal/drinks will set you back at least £40-50.

Yes..... it's current colleagues who will be attending...... problem being 15th kind of get slagged off a bit of you don't show. They have access to rotas of all departments so know exactly who's on shift and who's not. Even thought I am.not considered to be in her close circle of friends I will still be expected to attend. They LIVE for social media posts snapchat/Facebook status etc.... so the more people who attend the more popular they look. God it's all so pathetic really

Shit yeh didn't even factor how much it will all cost

Can you not just make it known that you would love to have come but have a wedding/important birthday/another occasion that means you will not be able to attend? Am sure some will disagree but I would just white lie to not go.

Or ill on the day...

Nah, I wouldn't bother with it

The more I type the more I know i can't be arsed with it all

Need a big cracking excuse, that makes it such a shame you're missing out on the party. Surprise spa with DM or DH? Picture of 2 of you in robes with champagne 'what an amazing surprise'! When really the photo could be taken anywhere

I wouldn't go to the meal, just have a a really good reason why you can't go e.g. family occassion that can't be missed. To be honest maybe for a short while it MIGHT be picked up you didn't go but then there will another event or something else that will then be the focus and it will all be forgotten.

Thanls for all your advice guys!!!

I don't give up my own time anymore for work stuff these days unless I really want to. I only go to the Christmas lunch because it is in work time

Yes pippa..... that's it ....... I would go if I liked the person in question but on this one it just seems like a chore

Make up a decent excuse to be elsewhere. Lots of people don't socialise out of work, some pick and choose, and others are at EVERYTHING propping up the bar. I think the middle option strikes a good balance.