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Love and Compromise

7 replies

user1493188215 · 01/05/2017 11:12

The other day, I was contemplating love and compromise.

I was walking back home from work and I saw a mother whose toddler let go of her hand and ran along the pavement, towards the road. She dropped everything she was holding: car keys, wallet - the whole content of her bag scattered on the pavement, while she chased after him with worry and desperation, understandably. Luckily, the little boy stopped at the end of the pavement. She kneeled in front of him, scolded him gently and hugged him. She closed her eyes, buried her nose in his hair and stayed there, without caring about her belongings, the onlookers or the world around her.
She was hugging him with relief and gratitude.

That passionate, nurturing hug of a mother... That long and tight embrace of someone who would give up everything for you, because you are more precious to them than anything in the world...

And it made me think that, with few unfortunate exceptions, most of the people have that starting foundation in life: the unconditional love.

Yet, there are many unhappy people in unhappy relationships. So, when do people start compromising? When do they start accepting less than they deserve?

I concluded that people compromise when they start feeling fear.
Fear of being alone. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what others would think of them.

And it shouldn't be like that. Everyone should settle ONLY for the person who can give them that passionate and nurturing hug, for ever.

For the person who can bury their nose in your hair and be grateful for your well-being. For the person who doesn't care that their belongings could disappear, because they are holding tight on to the most precious thing of all: YOU!

If you found that person, hold on to them. If you haven't found that person yet, don't settle for less. That special person is out there...

OP posts:
user1491572121 · 01/05/2017 11:16

I think you're very wrong.

A partner is not a toddler. A toddler makes mistakes. A man or woman can understand the concept of giving for the benefit of another.

user1493188215 · 01/05/2017 11:20

I think you misunderstood the message.

OP posts:
Raffles1981 · 01/05/2017 11:20

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I was vulnerable when we met, due to child abuse and neglect. I did not love myself enough, I did not believe in myself and I know he took advantage of that. From a young age I simply accepted less than I deserved. I was ugly, I was stupid, I did not have enough in me to give to other people. I truly believed that and my ex husband played on all of it. He simply enhanced all of the above, stroked and made bigger my self doubt. Because I let him. I agree with you - we should not just settle for anything less than we would give to others. Six years on and I am a totally different person. And I am with someone who never, ever puts me down and vice versa. Thank you for this post. It has made me remember who I was and who I am now and how lucky I am to be where I am xx

LightYears · 01/05/2017 11:22

I think true unconditional love only happens from a parent to a child.

user1493188215 · 01/05/2017 11:28

Raffles1981, well done to you for not settling for less than you deserve! XX

OP posts:
Raffles1981 · 01/05/2017 11:29

LightYears I agree with that. I read stories about people who kill, hurt, cause years of pain to their family members, but still the mother still sees that person, whether it be visiting them in jail or a foster home. These women (and some men) never give up. I used to wonder why they bothered but as I have aged, I have realised you cannot just switch your love on and off. It is a sad fact but true. There have been some women who have lost everything and everyone, simply because they stay in touch with a child who has murdered/raped or beaten another human being.

LightYears · 01/05/2017 12:26

Yes, you can hate the act but still love the person.

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