Abandoning teenagers...

[juiceb70]

Hi, I'm new to Mumsnet, I would really like some unbiased opinion...
In October 16 I kicked my ex out, long story, years of yuck and I'd had enough...
We live in a small town on the south coast, I moved to the area when I was 20 (I'm now 47...) from Norfolk. I have 4 children, an 18yo girl and 20yo boy from a previous relationship, and a 10yo boy and 8yo girl with my ex.
Over the years I have wanted more and more to move back to my family, we are close and my sister is one of my very best friends. The ex is from Surrey and did not want to move further from his family so we didn't.
Now I'm on my own I want to move, my 10yo starts high school in sept so this seems like a good time.
But my oldest two have always lived here, so they want to stay. I have said I want them to move but they are adamant, I have said I will set them up with a little money for rents etc to get them started. Although they are not overly happy with their free ride ending (I struggle to get any rent, they both have good jobs) they do understand, although my 18yo thinks I should stay here until she is ready to move out, but she has no idea when... the youngest 2 are excited to be near their cousins and are positive about the move.

My family are naturally very excited, but I am aware they are a little biased, although I do doubt they would support me if they thought I was doing the wrong thing by the eldest two...

Rumours abound that I am abandoning them, that I should suck it up and stay here, that I'm selfish for wanting to move...

I would really like some independent opinion on this, is my daughter right and I should stay here and put my life and my little ones on hold until she decides to move? To be totally honest she is not easy to live with, she screams and shouts, swears, and I've been close to kicking her out a few times. She's 19 in 4 weeks.

I really appreciate any thoughts xx

Wow, thank you, I never expected so many supportive responses!
Just as a little more background to those expressing doubts...
My 18 yo daughter is planning on moving in with her bf imminently, they either stay here 1-3 nights a week, or at his, she's lived an independent life for the last 18months, cooking, cleaning etc and managed her finances as well as any other young adult enjoying life... she's training to be an ifa and pretty astute. TBH I don't doubt for one second she'll be fine, but spiteful mouths are gossiping (it's a small town and I have a lot of friends so things get back..) and I just wanted impartial opinions. I've only seen her twice in the last fortnight, as they've been at his. (And not because we've argued) I actually hope it will improve our relationship as we are so similar but can't live together!
They don't see their father and the awful relationship with their stepdad was partly why I left him do they won't be moving in with him.
The little ones see dad fortnightly and I've said I'll drive halfway which is the same journey for him as he's already making do not much change there.
I feel much happier about my decision, thank you all so much xxx

"but spiteful mouths are gossiping"

Oh don't take away their entertainment, OP. I live in a very gossipy part of the world and the stories people make up are hilarious. One of my neighbours, a seventy-year-old woman ran into her while she was putting out the rubbish and gave him a big hug and kiss. By the time she got back upstairs someone had already told her husband she had a toyboy.

Ha ha, that's brilliant! These people need hobbies... ;)