Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What would you do if you're partner smacked your child

38 replies

WillyWonkasChocolate · 25/04/2017 21:28

Just that.
Right now DC is asleep.
I'm not excusing it it was an one off in that partner smacked once in that one occasion (as opposed to a couple of times).
I said to partner to never ever do that again and that they were a bully and being aggressive.
I'm so sad.Sad

OP posts:
Crumbs1 · 26/04/2017 08:25

If he's one of childs parents he has a right to parent too. The issue isn't the child but different views on parenting - and he is entitled to a view even if it disagrees with yours.
Plenty of parents smack children. It's not a crime. There is no evidence it causes harm if used occasionally by a loving parent. It's not a safeguarding issue. It's not a reason to deprive a child of their father or split a family up.
You're massively overreacting. It sounds like it was a smack, nothing more. You need to agree your parenting methods with your partner rather than get whipped into a self righteous frenzy on here.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 26/04/2017 10:45

Smacking a child in anger as happened here IS a crime

Original poster
WillyWonkasChocolate · 26/04/2017 11:36

Crumbs I do not think I'm overreacting here especially not massively!
Although I don't advocate any smacking Monkey is right.
If you are not in control of yourself how can you be in control of the force you use

OP posts:
ElinorRigby · 26/04/2017 11:50

I think from a legal point of view it all depends on whether in the particular set of circumstances, what happened would be seen as 'reasonable punishment'. www.bab.org.uk/downloads/Smacking_Leaflet.pdf

If WillyWonka basically wants to sort out her relationship and see whether it's possible to agree on how to improve their child's behaviour, it's not altogther clear that calling the police is the best way to start.

whattheactualfudge · 26/04/2017 22:04

I have a very very difficult (partially non verbal) 2yr old. I have physical disabilities and to stop her meltdowns I occasionally have to resort to slapping her hand with 2/3 fingers to get her to calm the hell down. So by MN standards, this makes me a bad mother?? My intention is not hurt or frighten her, but to distract her and

whattheactualfudge · 26/04/2017 22:07

Oops posted too soon!

...to distract her and make her realise that she needs to stop. She is never frightened and is slowly starting to learn that this means Mummy means business!

leighdinglady · 26/04/2017 22:16

I'd consider it an assault like I would had he of hit me. How people can rationalise assaulting a tiny child when they would never dream of invading an adults rights or personal space is beyond me.
My DH can drive me crazy to frustration, but I would never hit him. To do so would prove I have no self control and am no better than a vicious dog.
You've warned him now. If he does it again, call the police.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 26/04/2017 22:22

Whatthe..sorry but yes you need to find another discipline method.

Being disabled isnt an excuse to use physical force on a 2 year old.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 26/04/2017 22:23

Plus she is now learning to smack people on hand to make them do what she wants.

bugaboo218 · 26/04/2017 23:42

Smacking a child is never acceptable regardless of what they have or have not done. If it had been my child I would have to leave my partner and end the relationship. For me smacking a child would be a deal breaker! Your partner had a choice. He decided to get so cross and and angry that he lashed out at your child in temper when he could have walked away until he was calmer!

He would have smacked with some degree of force because he was stressed and angry!

Huge red flag for me would be the fact that he said he'd do it again! A parent who genuinely is remorseful about having smacked their child would be down on their knees apologising to their child and the child's other parent. They would also be sat down with other parent discussing appropriate stratergies and seeking out the nearest parenting course!

How are you going trust him around your child if you do decide to stay? I could not trust my partner if he thinks that his behaviour was ok towards his child!

Poster up thread who think children need a painful shock/ smack when they misbehave do not bother to have children!

Instasista · 26/04/2017 23:49

Bil & SIL are in exactly this situation- he smacks and she hates it. Unfortunately what crumbs says is basically true- he'll parent how he wants and unless it's forceful enough to mark there isn't anything you can do, he has the right to parent how he wants. Of course you can ltb but that won't stop the smacking.

Original poster
WillyWonkasChocolate · 27/04/2017 07:15

This is it. I can leave but he will still see him and on those occasions I won't be around.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 27/04/2017 18:24

How are you doing today OP? Good for you, I wouldn't stand for this either. Hope your little boy is OK. I can imagine it was quite a shock for him :(

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread