Wedding angst - elope?!

[ZiggyForever]

Found a venue, loved it, had lunch there, food very disappointing. So, back to square one, venue hunting again. Increasingly frustrated and worried that we are spending thousands of pounds on ONE day. Can't really do it on the cheap either as family and friends are travelling from around the UK and if they're going to so much effort to be with us the least we can do is feed them well and give them a nice day.

I'm at the point where I reeeeeeeally want to run away and get married just the two of us, to avoid the cost/hassle/attention. But we would upset and disappoint so many people that we love, and it's important to DHTB that we have a "proper" wedding with our families there.

What to do . . . ?

similar dilema over here. Family is mostly overseas, it would need to be a big do etc. I want to elope, DP does not.

No answer except good luck

Talk to the venue about the food and do tastings of the dishes you will have?

Find a good caterer and a cheaper venue?

We spent a lot of money on the food and had the reception in the community centre.

Which I promptly spend thousands decorating. [oops]

I would ask around for hog roast recommendations.

Hi there - HelenDenver, that's exactly what we did (menu tasting) - only one out of the six plates we tried was any good

So yes, the search is on for an alternative. I just feel like this huge expense and a certain degree of anxiety is for everyone else's benefit rather than because it's what we want. Well, what I want.

Also - is a venue budget of £5000 (to include everything venue-related other than entertainment and the registrar) for 70 people unrealistic?

Um, yes, that seems a low budget if you are going for an "all in" venue, though it might depend where you are in the country!

Could you do a wedding and nice lunch at a restaurant for immediate family then a "piss up in a pub" for the rest in the evening? It's up to others if they want to come for this!

Well, by all-in I mean a welcome drink, wedding breakfast, toast, 2 glasses of wine per person and basic evening nibbles. Entertainment, registrar etc. on top of that.

I thought £5k would be enough for this :-(

And I've thought about the piss-up-at-the-pub idea - but it seems a little unfair to ask people to travel hundreds of miles without feeding and watering them!

Elope & spend the money on something more worthwhile